5 A.M.

Yes, this is about waking up.
I know, I know, I said I would write something spiritual on Monday...but my post does have to do with God and prayer.
So this morning I was looking at blogs and I went to one and someone was talking about waking up at 5 A.M, and praying. Convicted me a little of my own life, becuase I don't wake up at 5 in the morning anymore.
I wake up at 7--7:30.
Actually I got off of my wake up schedule when I started taking this medication that I haven't taken for a few months. It's side effect on me was to make me tired. And I have to take it every night. But now I don't have an excuse, it doesn't effect me much anymore. So why do I still wake up late?
Because I am lazy and I "need my sleep".
Yes, I have trouble sleeping, and after I get in bed it usually takes an hour for me to get to sleep, but I still get enough sleep.
I don't need a full 8 hours.
There is something odd about waking up late for me, whenever I wake up at 7 I am exhausted and when I wake up at 5, I am usually totally awake. Even when I go to bed at 12 and wake up at 5 I am awake.
I don't understand my body. It makes absolutely no sense.
Anyways, a lot of people used to tell me "Why wake up at 5? You'll have to do that soon anyways when you get a job, you should sleep in while you can."
Sounds like a wise idea, and I admit that part of me loves, loves, loves sleep.
I don't have to think when I sleep. The bad thing about sleep is that I wake up and look at my time and all I can think is, "Where has the time gone?"
I don't want to waste my life by sleeping. I am sure that when Jesus was on earth He didn't get a full 8 hour sleeping time every night. He didn't wait till someone got Him up, He was disciplined.
That's how I should be.

I don't follow many peoples' tweets but I do follow Paul Washer's.
He doesn't post a whole lot, but you can definitely take a lot away from the things he posts. Some of those things I have never thought about even. All of you should go read his tweets one day.
Anyways, I find it interesting how many times he says, "It's 3:30 am" "It's 4 am right now" and then he goes on to talk about prayer.
Prayer! I don't randomly wake up that early and pray to God. And when I do wake up early God usually isn't the first one on my mind. But, man, Paul Washer has so many posts on prayer and him being up early to spend time with God.
I am sure that many godly men wake up early to meet with God. The Puritans did.
I am not as godly as the Puritans were, and their disciplined life is something to aspire to. Not in a legalistic way of course.

When I used to wake up at 5, people would always ask, "Why do you wake up at 5? It's so early."
Mostly I just said it was because I wanted to write. But I actually never sat down to write till 7. The other two hours before I would spend getting ready for the day, and spending time with my God.
Those were some of the best days, when I woke up early, before I could be distracted by everything else in life, and I could just meet with God. It made my entire day refreshing. Sometimes like right now I wish that I had never flaked off of that schedule.
I don't want want to stand before God one day and say that I spent so much time sleeping and sleeping, becuase I "needed it."
I don't want to waste my life that way. And it's an easy thing to do.
And when I get really depressed all I want to do is sleep. What a way to waste your life.

People say to wait till I am older to wake up early, but what if I die young?
What will I say to God on how I used the time He gave me? What excuse will I give? Will I just say, "God, if you would have given me time to get a job I would have started waking up early."
That isn't a very good excuse.
 It all leads back to laziness for me. I am tired and I don't feel like getting up.
I think I am always going to be in a state of tiredness, so there isn't any point in trying to "cure" my tiredness.

Not saying that you all should wake up at 5 every morning, but I know for me, it's something that I need to start doing. I don't want to live life so laid back and undisciplined.
God tells us to pray, and I do that best in the morning. So that is what I am going to do.
Hope that you will examine your own life to see if you are being lazy or not in waking up. I know that I have to.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Goals for March 2011

Alright, this isn't going to be much of a post, but I reassure you, I am going to post something spiritual on Monday. I promise. Just hold on.
Now, I don't usually make goals for months, but I am going to make one this month, becuase otherwise I won't get much done.
So here we go.

I. Finish first edit of Iceblade ((the first part of AD, the story I am editing right now)). Which isn't very far in the big picture, but this week wasn't all that great for editing. At most I only edited a fight scene, and a part where I introduce the Iceblade to my characters. So, those were important parts, but such a drag to get through.
Anyways, I need to finish that soon.

II. Finish reading Holiness by J.C. Ryle.
I need to finish it becuase I have been in the middle of it for...a few months actually. Have 8 chapters left, I believe. It's an excellent book, whether you are Calvinistic or Arminian, it is a fantastic book for both groups. Ryle presents a lot of deep subjects to think about, it's an excellent book for every Christian.

III. Finish reading the section 'The Knowledge of God the Redeemer' in John Calvin's Institutes.
Which is a little less than 200 pages now. Gives me a little hope, but it's still a lot to read.
I say that becuase I am lazy, and don't spend all that much time with dead guys anymore. Which is really bad, becuase I need to start hanging out with them more. Have a lot to learn from them.

IIII. Finish the second WoT book, The Great Hunt.
I have a little less than 200 pages on this one too. Except it's much easier for this one, because I don't have to use so much of my mind and be so focused. It's Epic Fantasy, that's why.

Anyways, those are my goals for this next month. And I promise you guys, I will post something spiritual on Monday. Hope that all of you have a fantastic weekend!

God bless,
  A.W.

I never name my writings

It's rare that I will ever name a random piece of writing, because I can never think of a good name.
Even for some of my stories, like the last one I wrote, I left it as "Turk's Story" because I couldn't think of an official name.
I am not that creative!
Anyways, I am going to post something that I wrote in May of last year. It is not my best writing, but I am going to post it to prove that I am not that great of a writer to a friend of mine. I told her that at the beginning of the week I was terrible at it. She said I can't say my writing is bad, but once you read this you will agree with me. =P
Anyways, here it is.

"I hold the gun. There are six of us. This is the last of our trials together.
I aim the gun at Tony. I have never seen him so scared, his knees are trembling beneath him like an earthquake. I pull the trigger, the gun clicks.
Tony lets out a gasp and stands frozen, staring at me in unbelief. I aim it at Serah, she is nearly in tears. I pull the trigger and the gun clicks.
I aim the gun at Sue, tears are welling in her beautiful green eyes. I barely manage to pull the trigger, but I do. The gun clicks. She collapses on the ground, sobbing, and Serah bends down to gather Sue in her arms.
Three of us left...but not for long.
I point the gun at Bernard, his eyes are frozen on the gun. The trigger is pulled and the gun clicks.
Tim and I are nearly sweating now, as our eyes meet. I can feel the rest of my gang's eyes on me. I am their leader.
Tim slowly nods at me in reassurance, reminding me of my duty as their leader.
My hand trembles as I point the gun at my faithful friend. I pull the trigger and the gun clicks.
I hear a gasp from Sue.
"No, don't do this, Allan!" Serah cried.
But no one moves. We are all frozen.
In silence, I look at Tim just in time to see a tear streak down his cheek. I have never seen him cry, nor shed a single tear.
Hand trembling, I raise the gun to my now open mouth. The gun feels cold in my mouth, my throat is tight in fear. There is no time for goodbyes.
I pull the trigger, the bullet fires."

So there you go. Now you will let me say that I am a terrible writer.  =P
Anyways, hope that all of you not-so-faithful followers have a wonderful day!

God bless,
   A.W.

Are we any Different?

One of the things I didn't like about my old church was that it was hard to talk about Christ there.
That sounds a bit odd, doesn't it?
Every week I could go to my youth group and hear some good messages, but after that I would just talk a bit and leave. Then a thought came to me; what is the body here for?
Yes, I go to church to worship God, but we can do that at home all week. So why do you need to gather and worship God? Because God calls us to love and serve the body. And we can't do that if we stay at home all the time.
But whenever I went to my church, even if I did hear a good message, I wouldn't come back filled as I should have been. And one of the reasons why it never really did anything was because I didn't really have any fellowship.
Why is it that when we go to church all we can talk about with people is what movie or book came out that week, or about school, or about what we are doing that week?
I don't go to church to have those conversations, I go to church to get filled up and have fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ.
And I can't have that fellowship if all we do is talk about things that don't even matter in the big picture. Why can't we talk about what matters? Why can't we talk about eternal things?
A lot of times we don't have these conversations with people because we think it will be awkward, and we don't know how to start one of those conversations.
I know that I used to think that way, but now at my new church I have to get out of my comfort zone and start those conversations. The best times I have at church aren't when we play fun games or when I talk about movies and books with my best friend; the best times I have at church are when I get to talk to someone about Jesus Christ, and what God is doing in my life, and in the world.
I want to go to church to get filled up, and sent out again. And I can't get filled up when all we talk about are books.

I guarantee that the majority of people in your youth group aren't even saved.
I don't care how godly they might seem, a godly mask is easy to put on at church. And at my old church especially it was hard to tell who was really saved and who was not. How can you tell?
How should we be able to tell?
We should be able to tell by not only their walk, but their talk too.
The thing was at my church that for small group it was easy to put a face on at small groups, but outside of it, right after it's back to the same--school and life.
Things that don't even matter.
High school is something that only consumes your life for four years, and then college for another four years. That probably won't even be half of your life. Why don't we just spend our time talking about God who, if we are true Christians will always be in our life, always be consuming it?
Why can't God consume our life? Why can't we just talk about God's work in our lives? Why are we so consumed about the world?
There should be a fine line between the believers and the non-believers in our church.
A fine line.
And our love of God shouldn't just flow out of our walk, but also our talk.


Right now some of you are going, "but it's just too hard and awkward if I try and start one."
Of course it is, and that's becuase for this world, talking about God and His Works doesn't flow naturally into our conversations, as it should.
I have to do this at my new church, and once you start doing it, it isn't so hard. It does get easier, and it does fill you up.
I want to spend my time in a church who loves God, and who wants to talk about God, and about eternal things.
I am not saying that in and of themselves, it is wrong to talk about movies and books, but it is so easy to get into a mode that that is all we come and talk about. Can't we just break out of the flow?
Can't we just talk about Jesus Christ for once?


I want to hear what you guys think. Because I know that people have different views on this, so I want to know what you do. Do you just go with the crowd in how you act and what you talk about? Or do you stand against the flow--do you break that flow?


God bless,
   A.W.

Can they tell?

On Thursday nights I always seem to have the most interesting conversations with people. At least that's true for the last two Thursdays.
One of the things I discussed with someone was how Christians should be holy. And about Christians looking just like the Non-Christians. Makes me think, do I look just like the world? Is it evident at work that I'm different? Or am I just like everyone else?
Some people think that to reach unbelievers, you have to be just like them, watch the same things they watch, read the same things they read, laugh at the same things they laugh at.
But that isn't really being a light, that is conforming to the world. And that is exactly what the Bible warns us not to do.
Do we even realize that we are laughing at the very things that God hates? Do we even care about what God thinks of the things we watch and read? Or do we live as an Atheist and think that God doesn't see us at that very moment. Or are we leaving on cheap grace, that it's okay if we sin, because God will forgive us?
Is there something different about us? Not just our talk, but our walk too?

Worldliness, something that every Christian struggles with to an extant.
 The Bible calls us to be set apart. Are we really? What is different in how we walk and talk?
Are we God-centered in our life? Because if we truly are God-centered, then won't in our lives?

What good will we be in the world today if we are just like the world, if we are just like the non-Christians? If we really love the unbelievers here, then we won't be just like them, we won't try and reach them through being worldly. We love them by showing them the truth.
And I will clarify, not "throwing" the truth at them, but showing it to them in love. That is what they need, they need the truth. And if we really love them we won't keep it from them.
But how can we even think of trying to present the truth to them if we are just as worldly as they are? What good will it to be to tell them about Christ's work on the Cross, and say that God changes them, when you aren't changed yourself? What confidence does that unbeliever have that he or she can be changed? If you a professing believer are not changed yourself. A Christian might have all of the right theology and know exactly what to say to a non-Christian, but in the end, does your walk match your talk?
If you aren't fighting against worldliness, and you aren't growing spiritually, what use are you if you're like the world?
Is there even a difference between us and the world? Or are we just like them?

I wish I could have gotten my point across clearer, because I don't think that it did. I pray that this didn't turn out like some rant about nothing. But it is just something I have been thinking about this past week.

God bless,
  A.W.

The Weather....and my inspiration

This week has been the best writing week of the year so far. Logically, it shouldn't be, not at all. It should be one of the worst. There are two main reasons why this week should not have been my best writing week.
Because:
 I. I can't stand the story that I have to edit. It's terrible. I wrote it a year or so ago. Do you know how much my writing has changed since then? A lot. It's a drag trying to edit all of this. And, plus, I never knew how long it was till now. I might be half way done with it and it already has nearly 20,000 words. None of my stories are supposed to be that long! And this is part I of the entire story, and I thought that the second half was long. I have never made it to 50,000 words after editing and cutting. But maybe I will this time. Who knows.

II. Because the weather men lied to me. They said we would have a big rainstorm today. And at 7 in the morning I wake up and it's as sunny as it can be. Surprise, surprise. Now it's almost 10 and it's as dry as it can be. There goes my inspiration. So much for the rain in South CA. I should know better than to get my hopes  for rain.

Those are two very good reasons that I shouldn't be inspired. And yet, I had a fantastic writing week. Figure that. Maybe it's because I only give myself 40 minutes to write, and I want to finish this story. It seems that whenever I wake up at 5 do my stuff, and then sit down at 8 to write an hour, I write less then, than I do when I wake up at 7 and give myself 40 minutes to write. I still don't really understand that.
 Well, next week probably won't be any better. I need to get this story finished, at least the first half soon. Maybe I should just wake up at 7 every morning till I get it done?
I don't know. Depending on what happens today, I will decide what I will do for next week.
Other than trying to edit AD, the second book in the DD series, I have to work on the outline for the third book in the DD series.
I wrote the ideas sometime last year, and I have almost no direction whatsoever in making this outline. And I need to do it soon. So I have that to think about as long as editing.
I usually love outlining, but right now it's tough, becuase I am not sure how to approach it.
Might consider using the Snowflake method. Anyways, there's my writing life right now.
So two things I have to figure out this week:

I. How to approach my outline for the last DD book.

II. Figure out when to wake up.

Sad thing about myself, as a writer. Some writers are most inspired in the afternoon, or at night, or at odd hours of the morning like 2 or 3. I write better in the morning, any time in the morning really. Except not at 12--4, because if I take a "new" medication that I am on the night before, I am totally out of it by 12. So, my only option is to wake up early and write.
Sad, I know. Wish I would write better in the afternoon or at night. But that's just how I am.

"I write when I am inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning." --Peter DeVries

That is a quote that I should live up to. Except it should say 8 o'clock every morning. =D
Well, I am sure that I just bored you to tears about my life as a writer. I will stop now, for your sake.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Scars

"In conclusion, let every reader of this paper think seriously, whether his religion costs him anything at present. Very likely it costs you nothing. Very probably it neither costs you trouble, nor time, nor thought, nor care, nor pain, nor reading, nor praying, nor self-denial, nor conflict, nor working, nor labour of any kind. Now mark what I say. Such a religion as this will never save your soul. It will never give you peace while you live, nor hope while you die. It will not support you in the day of affliction, nor cheer you in the hour of death. A religion which costs nothing is worth nothing.
Awake before it is too late. Awake and repent. Awake and be converted. Awake and believe. Awake and pray. Rest not till you can give a satisfactory answer to my question, "What does it cost?""

--- J.C. Ryle, Holiness

What has it cost you to be a Christian? Your money? Your time? Your family? Your friends? Your possessions?  Has it cost you anything at all?
Where are your scars, dear Christian?  Can you even think of one?
Where are your scars?

God bless,
  A.W.

Writing Goal for 2011

When I told my friends I was making a blog, I said I was going to post some of my writing. So I will keep that promise. My one writing goal for this year is to finish up my DD series. And I am calling it my DD series, but I don't want to say the whole long name.
Anyways, I still have to finish editing the second book in the series, and then write and finish the third one. So far, I am half way done with the first part of the second book.
See, my books in this series, have two stories in one. I know it's a bit complicated, but it makes sense if you read it. So that is my writing goal this year.
After I finish that, I am going to work on a story that I plan on getting published. I don't want to say anything about that story just yet, maybe once next year rolls around, and when I am done with the DD series, I will tell more about it.
But for now, I will just post a poem that has to do with the theme of my story. I wrote this last year, so it's not my best poem, but it goes with my story. So here goes.

"Who will stand when they come?
With their sweet lies and testing tongues
Who will be swayed by their persuasive lips?
Do you know where they come from?
They rise up among us
In the church, in the pulpit,
For themselves, they take the glory,
From the Lord Most High.
Dare we be led astray
Whern it feels so right
But the truth is so far away
Who will stand?
Who will be faithful and defend
The hope that is within you?
There will be no defense
if the sparks do not erupt
from the fire of your soul
Do we look at the truth,
Or do we suck in the words so smooth?
Without understanding we are lost,
Carrying a false light
Without study and heart,
we will fall into the darkness of night.
Who will stand if we cannot bow our hearts, stand firm
And face those fiery darts?"

God bless,
  A.W.

I am not sure how to launch off a blog, or anything for that matter, but if anyone starts reading this blog they might ask why I named it, "Living, not a moment wasted," so I will give you an answer before you ask me. I named it because that is the one thing that has stuck to me almost ever since I became a Christian.
Don't waste your life. Live for eternity.
I hear about people dying every day, I hear it on the radio and the news, you hear it everywhere. People die each day. And all must stand before their Maker one day.
Even Christians must give an account for how they lived, and how they spent their time.
That terrifies me. I am not prepared to stand before my Maker, and tell Him that I had done nothing for Him. Because I haven't. I have done nothing in light of eternity.
So I have evangelized a few times, and defended my faith, and served my church. But what is that compared to men like Spurgeon or Edwards did.
You know one of the things that made those men great? Not only their prayer life, but their use of their time. How do you use your time? Do you make the most of your opportunities?
We were put on this earth to glorify God, so what are we doing, wasting our lives on things that will perish? What are you doing watching TV and surfing the web all day? Why waste your life?
I post this sermon jam because it has inspired the name of this blog, and it impacts me every time I watch it.
Don't waste your life. Live for eternity.

 --A.W.