God's Work

So this last week I posted almost every poem that I've written in the last two years on Facebook. Took me a long time to do it, but I finally did it. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy because in whole, all of those poems were bits and pieces of me. And at times it is a scary thing to open up and share with others what is/has been going on.
It scared me because so often in the past I have put on a fake smile, or said I was fine when I was really breaking inside. Most of my writings are dark...I don't have the brightest of all minds, so dark things tend to come out. But it doesn't bother me too much, to me, in a dark poem I can express what is going on inside so much better than I can when it's a cheerful, uplifting poem.
Before posting them I hesitated, I didn't want to scare anyone. And part of me was screaming not to post them because there are still people who have known me for the longest time and have no idea what goes on in my personal life. I wasn't sure how they would take it. I was so afraid.
But as I thought about it more, I realized that my fear was wrong.
I realized I shouldn't be afraid to share the work that God's done in my life.
It should have come to me sooner that I should never be afraid to tell people what God is doing in my life.
I mean, in the past when I've opened up or written something personal and shared it with others God seemed to use it to change/encourage others.
I think sometimes we get so caught up in what man thinks about us that we forget that God could use what we've dealt with in the past to change others.

That made me change my mind. And with much prayer, I posted them. And no, God's not shown me just yet if He's used them, but perhaps He never will show me. All I can do is trust that somehow, someway, God will use them for His glory.
And for that reason alone, we should not hold back on proclaiming to the world the work God's done in our lives! He might use it in the craziest ways, you might never even know how God uses your words, whether you are speaking or writing.
Don't be afraid. Don't hold back on sharing God's work in your life with others.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Not Afraid

I am working on a poem that I got inspired to write this week. I've only gotten half of it down, trying to figure out how to end the other half.
It's about addiction and freedom. In other words, it's my story.
I hesitate in posting it though, because part of me wants to hold back because people will either read it and disagree or read it and be utterly shocked because they would never have expected something like this coming from me.
For the most part, I post my poetry on a forum where I know people will read it and will be effected in some way. I don't generally post my writing other places.

This week I stood up and showed a few words on a card board to a group of people at my church. On one side I said a few things of "What I was" and on the other side I wrote a few things that "Now I am....". I can't remember quite what I wrote--most of what I wrote was thin and couldn't really be seen to well at a distance. But the line I put in bold on the "What I was" side was "A slave of my addictions" and on the other side I put in bold, "I am Free from my addictions, and a slave of Jesus Christ."
If I could redo that board, I would make it all the more clearer and write, "I was a slave of my addictions" and "But now I am freed from addictions and a slave of Jesus Christ!"

Even though it was supposed to be my salvation story, I felt like I was writing it all from the last few years of actually being a Christian. It's hard to think of exactly how I was before I was a Christian.
It wasn't like I was a slave of addiction and then God saved me and BAM--it was gone.
No...It didn't work like that.
It has been a long, painful battle. Not to say that I have been perfected already--and will not sin anymore on earth--but to say that I am free from that one addiction I had struggled so long and hard with.
Perhaps once you read my story, it will be easier to understand.
But I think I will post it, just to say that I am not afraid to declare the work that Christ has done in my life. He has set me free. Why should I be afraid to say what God has done in my life?
I shouldn't be ashamed. Yes, it's humbling to tell people about something like that when they never would have guessed, but why should we hold back?
Our testimony, our story might just help someone else. You never know.
I cannot hold back my story. I will not be ashamed of the work Jesus Christ has done.

God Bless,
  A.W.

In Light of God's Work

You know, it's often spoken among Christians that they don't want to share their testimony in front of  people because it will bore them to death. A lot of people I know back away from sharing their testimony because it isn't "interesting enough".
Personally, I never really had that exact excuse. I never wanted to say mine because, though it's incredible to me, I felt that no one would understand it. But yet, I still used the excuse of it not being interesting enough to tell others.

A lot of us say that because we've grown up in the church and haven't lived such an openly sinful life as others have. A lot of times people just want to hear the incredible stories about how someone's sins led them into addiction, and how that addiction nearly led them to destruction, but right before, in their time of desperate need, God miraculously saved them.
Aren't those the stories you want to hear?
We don't generally want to hear the story about a person who said a prayer when they were 5, lived their whole teen aged years a fake, and then somehow God broke him down to see that he wasn't really saved. And soon after, God saved him at a church service.
We don't want to hear stories like that. We want to hear the inspirational stories! We want to hear the stories that will bring tears to our eyes, even if we don't know the person.
Those are the kinds of stories we want to hear!

At least that's how I used to think. It took me a while to realize that I had gotten it wrong.
I never realized that everyone's salvation is an incredible thing. Whether the person has grown up in a church or not. Whether they got saved as a teen or an adult.
I never saw that in light of God's work, every testimony is as amazing as the next.
I mean, God chose to save you, He chose to save wretched sinners like you and me. He didn't have to. We deserve hell and destruction. We do not deserve His mercy and grace that He has given us. We deserve nothing but pain and suffering.
And yet, He chose us.
So you see, I realized that it isn't so much the story of the events leading up to your salvation took place, it's the fact that God actually chose to save us. It's not so much the events that happened that make it awesome, it's the work of God that makes every story incredible.

God Bless,
  A.W.