"This mind has not been loud
Thought have not burst in like a crowd.
I have worked in silence, the only thoughts coming are merely small prayers.
Few words spoken and eyes filled with empty stares
In my mind I sit alone on a bench
The light rain beginning to on me, drench.
Knowing what my friends are going through,
Feeling that it's not terribly new.
It breaks my heart,
Although, having already a taste of what they feel, it tears me apart.
It has filled me with sorrow too much for words to say
Too full for me to come up with words to pray.
It's not that in God I refuse to trust,
Knowing He has a plan and having peace is a must.
It's not that I am lonesome without the company of those dear friends,
No, that isn't what's making this heart bend.
It's the understanding of nothing helping when in great pain,
Knowing how my friend feels as she struggles to dance in the rain.
It's understanding how believers bite and stab each other
How the church can stop feeling lie it's made up of sisters and brothers.
It's the connection of knowing a bit how they feel that sets me in this silent state.
Not feeling anything, no, not even hate.
But oh how comforting it is to know I sit not alone on this bench.
And that I have shelter keeping me from getting drenched.
For when this silence shatters, I will fall apart in God's Hand,
Where the landing is sure to be softer than sand.
He is catching these tears I cry,
Hearing the prayers breathed through each sigh.
For my God reads all of those actions and knows the words my tongue cannot speak
He knows that I am, oh so weak.
Crying over everyone's lives, as if they were my own,
Though often happening, this to the world is not often shown.
But in my weakness He hears me still,
This empty mind soon to be filled."
