Where Is Your Joy?

Out of all the years in my life, God's said "no" to all of the big things in life. And so often it's cast me into depression, but God's blessed me this year to learn how to deal with it. Man, He's really blessed me, even though I've gotten so many "nos" this year.
I challenge myself a lot about where my joy lays. And the other day I had to do that very thing, so I wrote a poem out.
And here it is.

"Joy should not be based upon my circumstances.
It should not be based on whether my world is colorful or grey,
Or whether or not people leave or stay.
It should not be based on whether or not I'm in pain
Or whether or not I suffer from loss or gain.
I don't want my joy to be based on any of these.
I don't want my emotions to be carried off like the breeze.
I want my hope and joy to be firm,
Because I'm so sick of being in depression, pathetic as a worm.
I need to learn to keep joy when God's answer is 'no'.
I need to remember that through this He will make me grow.

My joy should never be based on anyone or anything
Through whatever happens, God, let my soul always sing.
Let all my joy be based on God
Don't let my emotions be in one giant wad.
But set them to peace,
Slaughter inside that raging beast.
Let my depression be done.
Lift this burden that weighs a ton
Help me to let my joy be based on God alone,
And let me be able to take a hundred more "no's" without a weary groan."

God Bless,
 A.W.

Please Don't Give Up Tonight

Thoughts on Kony 2012

So I won't lie. But I am pretty sick of all of this spam going on through the internet.
It's all over YouTube, and it's all over FB. It's only been a few days since it's been released too. It's way too much.
 Watched the whole thing last night. At first, I admit, I was more for it, and thought it was a good thing to do. But the more I thought about it, I realized how messed up it all was.
We all want to have a good feeling and feel like we are standing up for something.
And yet, we forget to actually, really, deeply think of things.

I don't think that it's America's place to step into this situation. Sure, we all want justice, but America isn't giving justice in her own country as it is!
Americans protest at the death penalty when a serial killer, who has killed hundreds of people in brutal ways is brought to trial. They say, "Put him in jail with a life sentence! But don't take his life!"
Justice is not served rightly in this country.
So how do we expect to serve it in another country?

And not only that, but consider that America is already in a deep financial ditch. Why should we spend more money on a country that isn't our business? We don't need to go into more debt. Just going to raise more taxes and whatnot. Sending soldiers to another country just to get someone isn't worth all the money it will cost.

Oh, and now you are probably thinking that this all sounds rather harsh. Thinking I don't have much of a heart. But remember that this world will always need justice. Ridding the world of one "infamous man" isn't enough, evil will still reign somewhere in the world.
Getting rid of one man won't make this world a better and happier place. Won't at all. I don't think it will be good for America to go into something like this. Think people need to start using their minds and really start thinking over this Kony thing.
Because, to be quite honest, this spam is really annoying. So those are my thoughts, had to get them out somewhere.

God Bless,
 A.W.

A Better Plan Than Mine

God said no to something last week, and somehow He still gave me the Grace and Strength to write this on that day. God is good. God has a plan. A better one than mine.

"This is not the end,
Though there's not much more than can make this heart bend.
Hope is now taken away,
And this pain may just always stay.
But it's been my reality for two years
I've already laid down my fears.
I used to want a shoulder to lean on, someone to love
But now I understand I've always had God above.
For He understands and comforts me in sorrow,
He gives me peace for tomorrow.
Behind every no, He has a right reason.
And with His Grace I'll survive this hard season.
What worry should I have, when I've got a God who loves me?
I know that one day, from this pain I'll be set free.
For my God has a purpose, a plan, He knows what is best.
One day I'll be given such sweet rest.
Somehow He'll use this for His glory.
This is just one part of my story.
It's not the answer that's brought me to tears,
It's the fact that I have a Sovereign God who still holds me so dear.
But what more I have to look forward to
The hope of heaven rings so true!
For one day I'll be free from this pain, and have rest.
But for today, let me bask in the peace that my God knows best."

Soli Deo Gloria!

God Bless,
  A.W.