Where Is Your Joy?

Out of all the years in my life, God's said "no" to all of the big things in life. And so often it's cast me into depression, but God's blessed me this year to learn how to deal with it. Man, He's really blessed me, even though I've gotten so many "nos" this year.
I challenge myself a lot about where my joy lays. And the other day I had to do that very thing, so I wrote a poem out.
And here it is.

"Joy should not be based upon my circumstances.
It should not be based on whether my world is colorful or grey,
Or whether or not people leave or stay.
It should not be based on whether or not I'm in pain
Or whether or not I suffer from loss or gain.
I don't want my joy to be based on any of these.
I don't want my emotions to be carried off like the breeze.
I want my hope and joy to be firm,
Because I'm so sick of being in depression, pathetic as a worm.
I need to learn to keep joy when God's answer is 'no'.
I need to remember that through this He will make me grow.

My joy should never be based on anyone or anything
Through whatever happens, God, let my soul always sing.
Let all my joy be based on God
Don't let my emotions be in one giant wad.
But set them to peace,
Slaughter inside that raging beast.
Let my depression be done.
Lift this burden that weighs a ton
Help me to let my joy be based on God alone,
And let me be able to take a hundred more "no's" without a weary groan."

God Bless,
 A.W.