Friday, February 15, 2013

Some Nights Never Leave You

It's hard to believe it's been almost 5 years since my sister ran away from home.
It is never easy to think of that morning. 5 years later and that memory still never ceases to make tears come into my eyes.
I have always hated that I was the one to wake up at 4 AM and see my sister sneaking out of my room.
Sometimes I wish I had not been such a selfish little girl. The only reason I had stayed up watching her through the mirror's reflection was because I thought she was taking my brush somewhere.
I never thought she was leaving leaving.
I can see her form so clearly in my mind, gathering her things in the bathroom.
And when she left the room to put things into her car I ran out.
My heart was racing.
I was so afraid.
My sister was leaving and I had caught her.
I remember telling my parents that my sister was leaving and they scrambled out of bed.
Before I knew it we were downstairs.
My dad sat in his chair with his computer, his face solemn.
I sat nervously on the couch.
My sister returned and didn't talk to us.
Dad asked questions about what she was doing.
Where she was going.
She didn't answer many.
Dad let her leave
I went into my room.
I cried so hard that night.
My mum told me to sleep that night.
But all I know is that it took a long, long time to finally cry myself to sleep.

It's five years later and these are the flashes of memories that still haunt me. These are the memories that still keep me awake and crying on the hard nights along with every other bad memory with my sister and sister-in-laws. Which happen to be more than with anyone else in the world.
Tears still fill my eyes when I think of her.
And five years later I realize that some nights never leave you.

God Bless,


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  2. I wish there are words I can say to ease the pain, but I know there is nothing that can be said to just make it all go away. I want you to know, though, that I'm always here for you. It breaks my heart to know the things you've gone through, and I pray life will get a lot better.

    I love you! * hugs*

    1. Aw, thank you for reading my blog. I've just been so sad lately. Too many memories this week that never seem to leave. >< Thank you so much for your kindness, I love you too! *hugs back*