A Poem I am Memorizing

"Blessed Creator,
Thou hast promised thy beloved sleep;
Give me restoring rest needful for tomorrow's toil.
If dreams be mine, let them not be tinged with evil.
Let thy Spirit make my time of repose a blessed temple of his holy presence.
May my frequent lying down make me familiar with death,
the bed I approach remind me of the grave.
the eyes I now close picture to me their final closing.
Keep me always ready, waiting for admittance to thy presence.
Weaken my attachment to earthly things.
May I hold life loosely in my hand,
knowing that I receive it on condition of its surrender;
As pain and suffering betoken transitory health,
may I not shrink from a death
that introduces me to the freshness of eternal youth.
I retire this night in full assurance of one day awakening with thee.
All glory for this precious hope,
for the gospel of grace,
for thine unspeakable gift of Jesus,
for the fellowship of the Trinity.
Withhold not thy mercies in the night season;
thy hand never wearies,
thy power needs no repose,
thine eye never sleeps.
Help me when I helpless lie,
when my conscience accuses me of sin,
when my mind is harassed by foreboding thoughts,
when my eyes are held awake by personal anxieties.
Show thyself to me as the God of all grace, love and power;
thou hast a balm for every wound.
a solace for all anguish,
a remedy for every pain,
a peace for all disquietude.
Permit me to commit myself to thee awake or asleep."


--Sleep, The Valley of Vision.

5 A.M.

Yes, this is about waking up.
I know, I know, I said I would write something spiritual on Monday...but my post does have to do with God and prayer.
So this morning I was looking at blogs and I went to one and someone was talking about waking up at 5 A.M, and praying. Convicted me a little of my own life, becuase I don't wake up at 5 in the morning anymore.
I wake up at 7--7:30.
Actually I got off of my wake up schedule when I started taking this medication that I haven't taken for a few months. It's side effect on me was to make me tired. And I have to take it every night. But now I don't have an excuse, it doesn't effect me much anymore. So why do I still wake up late?
Because I am lazy and I "need my sleep".
Yes, I have trouble sleeping, and after I get in bed it usually takes an hour for me to get to sleep, but I still get enough sleep.
I don't need a full 8 hours.
There is something odd about waking up late for me, whenever I wake up at 7 I am exhausted and when I wake up at 5, I am usually totally awake. Even when I go to bed at 12 and wake up at 5 I am awake.
I don't understand my body. It makes absolutely no sense.
Anyways, a lot of people used to tell me "Why wake up at 5? You'll have to do that soon anyways when you get a job, you should sleep in while you can."
Sounds like a wise idea, and I admit that part of me loves, loves, loves sleep.
I don't have to think when I sleep. The bad thing about sleep is that I wake up and look at my time and all I can think is, "Where has the time gone?"
I don't want to waste my life by sleeping. I am sure that when Jesus was on earth He didn't get a full 8 hour sleeping time every night. He didn't wait till someone got Him up, He was disciplined.
That's how I should be.

I don't follow many peoples' tweets but I do follow Paul Washer's.
He doesn't post a whole lot, but you can definitely take a lot away from the things he posts. Some of those things I have never thought about even. All of you should go read his tweets one day.
Anyways, I find it interesting how many times he says, "It's 3:30 am" "It's 4 am right now" and then he goes on to talk about prayer.
Prayer! I don't randomly wake up that early and pray to God. And when I do wake up early God usually isn't the first one on my mind. But, man, Paul Washer has so many posts on prayer and him being up early to spend time with God.
I am sure that many godly men wake up early to meet with God. The Puritans did.
I am not as godly as the Puritans were, and their disciplined life is something to aspire to. Not in a legalistic way of course.

When I used to wake up at 5, people would always ask, "Why do you wake up at 5? It's so early."
Mostly I just said it was because I wanted to write. But I actually never sat down to write till 7. The other two hours before I would spend getting ready for the day, and spending time with my God.
Those were some of the best days, when I woke up early, before I could be distracted by everything else in life, and I could just meet with God. It made my entire day refreshing. Sometimes like right now I wish that I had never flaked off of that schedule.
I don't want want to stand before God one day and say that I spent so much time sleeping and sleeping, becuase I "needed it."
I don't want to waste my life that way. And it's an easy thing to do.
And when I get really depressed all I want to do is sleep. What a way to waste your life.

People say to wait till I am older to wake up early, but what if I die young?
What will I say to God on how I used the time He gave me? What excuse will I give? Will I just say, "God, if you would have given me time to get a job I would have started waking up early."
That isn't a very good excuse.
 It all leads back to laziness for me. I am tired and I don't feel like getting up.
I think I am always going to be in a state of tiredness, so there isn't any point in trying to "cure" my tiredness.

Not saying that you all should wake up at 5 every morning, but I know for me, it's something that I need to start doing. I don't want to live life so laid back and undisciplined.
God tells us to pray, and I do that best in the morning. So that is what I am going to do.
Hope that you will examine your own life to see if you are being lazy or not in waking up. I know that I have to.

God Bless,
  A.W.