The Unused Key

'A key rusteth that is seldom turned in the lock.'

It becomes hard work to stir it, for it becomes rusted into its place. Neglect of prayer makes prayer become hard work, whereas it should be a privilege and a delight. We cannot restrain prayer, and yet enjoy prayer. Frequency in this matter helps fervor, and constancy in it brings out the comfort of it.

Am I becoming slack in devotion? O Lord, forgive me, and save me from this grave neglect before it begins to eat into my soul and corrode my heart!"

--C.H. Spurgeon, Flowers From a Puritan's Garden

Just Another Blessing in Disguise

It's taken me weeks to figure out my thoughts on rejection. But after a few hours of putting some words together in a bad rhyme scheme I got it out! Finally finished writing it, thank God! Now the only this is to keep remembering these words, and remind myself of them over and over. 

Just Another Blessing in Disguise

"Why should I care?
Why should I worry about falling into your range?
Rejection is just an ugly dare.
You will always be telling me to change.

You give me a picture of who you want me to be,
then you hold up the mirror to pick me apart.
Now everything is on the table for me to see.
You'd never guess you were tearing out my heart.

From my looks, to my flaws, you critique me.
And now you leave me holding a mask
Of all you want me to be.
Now there is only one thing left to be ask
'Why am I not ashamed?'

Why does it feel so right to fling your mask down?
There must be a reason why I can stand in the rain.
Why don't I care anymore if you frown?
Because I've come to know that rejection is so much more than pain.

Rejection can only mean two things
You either dared to be yourself or you stood up for your beliefs.
Honor and joy should be what the pain brings
Now breath a sigh of relief
You're on the right track.

Why be ashamed of who God made you to be?
For He loves you how you are
If you have His Love, that's all you need to be free
And that alone should carry you so far.

And what soldier of the Lord will not offend?
For we are called to stand
What radical saint fades into the crowd and tries to blend?
For a saint it is an honor to be banned.

So you see that it's more than just pain
When you stand in the rain.
It's not just a testing,
But rejection is a blessing."

God Bless,
  A.W.

Done!

Finished my first Christian Fantasy this last week; at least I finished enough of it that I could give it to three people to look over and critique for me. Praise God He brought me through it!
Was a hard story to work on; but I finally kept a promise to a dear friend, and I finally got everything out concerning the subject my story was on.
Now I am working on two other story ideas.
One story is a Steampunk zombie book.  ((Which will require a fair amount of research, which will be tough and take a long time, so that might take longer)).
The second is another Christian Fantasy. The theme for this one is depression.  ((Have so many ideas, but now it's just a matter of putting them together. Lord willing, I will be able to do that soon.))

I really want to work on the second; I wish I could think of a strong story for this one, and put it into the right world.
Right now, at this point in my life I have so much I want to say about depression and rejection; it's only a matter of finding the right words.
I keep reminding myself that I need a place to bleed. I need to gather my thoughts; and let them out into something that makes sense.
There are so many reasons I want to write a story with the theme of depression.
I think it would be good for me to do right now; it would be a constant reminder to me in my own life. Perhaps writing it would be good for me.
I need to bleed a bit.

--A.W.

Inspiration

So, the weekend killed my inspiration and motivation for writing. One poor weekend, and just like that I'm spiraling downwards. Weekends do tend to kill me like this, but I was doing alright until this one.

I barely ever write when I am inspired. I always follow that quote by, who was it? Jack London, I believe. "You can't wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club."
I live by that quote. It's very rare that I have any inspiration at all when I sit down to write. I figure if I wait for inspiration to strike, I will be waiting forever 
Motivation is a bit different, I usually am motivated to finish things, to get projects done. But right now I'm losing it.

Don't feel so qualified, don't feel like I can get anything to work. My motivation is leaking.
Sometimes you just have to force yourself to sit down and bleed. Sometimes that's the only way to get past all of this.
Well, should be editing my story now. I didn't wake up at 5:30 this morning to sit around listening to music and only think about writing.

God Bless,
  A.W.

 C.H. Spurgeon:

"I would go to the deeps a hundred times to cheer a downcast spirit. It is good for me to have been afflicted, that I might know how to speak a word in season to one that is weary. "

"It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength."