"Jesus promises you two things: a cross to die on and eternal life."

God Bless,
  A.W.

Why Not Me?

Last week while working on an outline, I kept thinking of what God used to save me. God used a heretic who has led many people astray with his false teachings. I know so many people who have accepted his teachings. It breaks my heart at what this man had done. I deserved to be led astray by that man, just like so many of my friends have. The question that will never leave my mind is, 'Why not me?'.
I didn't know any theology when I first became a Christian. I was so vulnerable to be led astray by that man. I should have been led astray like so many others. I don't understand why God didn't let me though.
It breaks me to see the man's ministry flourish, and to know that more people are being led astray. And to know that I should have been one of those people.
I deserved to be led astray. I would have definitely learned the hard way to know the importance of theology.
I wish I could only know the answer to that question. Why not me? It's been running through my mind all this weekend. Why not me? Why not me, O God?
I don't understand why God would save a wretched sinner such as me, and I don't understand why He kept me from the heresy that the man was preaching.
When I tell people my testimony I can't help but feel that they don't understand it really.
It's hard to know that the heretic who God used to save me has led some of my dear friends astray.
That's what grace is though.
God has given me so much grace in my life! Saving me from myself! Breaking my addictions! Showing me the truth through a man's lies! God has been so gracious to me, to give me the right theology. To keep me from falling into heresy.
But still the question will always remain: Why not me?

The Holocaust

Yesterday I went to The Museum of Tolerance. There were many different exhibits, but we chose to just go to the one about the Holocaust. It was definitely interesting. We had to go through the whole thing with a guide. She explained everything to us, though she did leave some important things out like why Hitler wanted to kill all of the Jews. She just said because he hated them. One thing that she kept mentioning was the children, and how they were killed. She kept mentioning how terrible it was that the Nazi killed them.
At the beginning, one woman started the intro, and first off mentioned the children, and that at least a million were killed. She said it as if it were the most heinous crime in the world. And I'm not saying that it wasn't. But while she was talking, I wanted to ask her if it bothered her that we Americans do the same thing. But I didn't.
Throughout the whole tour, I kept thinking about how they kept mentioning the children dying. They acted as if there was a huge difference between us and the Nazis.
But they have failed to realize that we are no better than they were. We kill babies all the time! And the same women and doctors who make the choice to kill babies are the same people who look back at the holocaust and feel pity on all of the children who died! Think of that! They are pitying children who died years ago, and now they choose to put their own children to death! How sick is that?

Once in the tour, our tour guide told us a story about some Jews who had a child and they had to leave it in a room, and leave. But when they came back, the Nazis started throwing the babies out the window and into an open truck to kill them. And the parents had to watch the entire horrific scene.
It is a terrible thing. But how can I think that the Nazis were any worse than us? We are no better! We kill babies every day! By our own choice, not someone else's!
In the 40s I am sure that a mother would never even think of having an abortion on any child whether she didn't mean to have one or not.
More babies are killed a year in America than children who died in the holocaust. Shouldn't that effect us somehow? Shouldn't it make us sick and disgusted?
Going through the whole tour made me not so sick at the Nazis but at my own country, America.
How sick can the events of the Holocaust make you be when you compare it to the things that Americans do every day?

God Bless,
  A.W.

David Brainerd

Yesterday I started reading The Life and Diary of David Brainerd on my Kindle. I have never read a man's journal/autobiography that writes so much about his own sinfulness compared to God's holiness.
It astonished me how little of a self-esteem he had. I mean, nowadays it's all about self-esteem. The world is telling us not to put ourselves down, we need to believe in ourselves, we need to have faith in ourselves. It's all about self-esteem in our day. And while reading Brainerd's entries it feels so different, it would seem so foreign to the world. In almost every entry that I have read so far he writes about how he is powerless and wicked in his heart.
There are not very many people who write like that nowadays. Consider part of his journal:


"I seem to be declining, with respect to my life and warmth in divine things; had not so free access to God in prayer as usual of late. O that God would humble me deeply in the dust before him! I deserve hell every day, for not loving my Lord more, who has, I trust, loved me, and given himself for me; and every time I am enabled to exercise any grace renewadly indebted to the God of all grace for special assistance. Where then is boasting? Surely it is excluded, when we think how we are dependent on God for the being and every act of grace. Oh, it ever I get to heaven, it will be because God's will, and nothing else; for I never did any thing of myself, but get away from God! My soul will be astonished at the unsearchable riches of divine grace, when I arrive at the mansions, which the blessed Saviour is gone before to prepare."

Consider that. And consider Brainerd's age when he wrote that! He was in his early twenties. How many of you know a young person who can write like that? Something that deep and beautiful?
You probably don't know many, if not any at all.
Not only is the world teaching the younger generations to have a high self-esteem, but they are teaching them to stay children even in the twenties. The world is teaching them to have parties and play video games all day; to stay a child as long as possible.
I think we need to take a look at David Brainerd and the young men and women before us who ignored what the world pressed at them and instead fixed their gaze to God.


God Bless,
  A.W.

Herold Camping

Many of you already know that Herold Camping has predicted the world to end today.
It might be fun to joke about it and such, but in reality, it is a serious thing.
I do not believe that the world will end today, but there are many people who do. And they need prayer.
There is no doubt in my mind that people will become suicidal after they realize the world isn't ending.
I know that one church in CA is going to try and reach out to his followers. Thank God for them.
But his followers do need prayer. So please keep them in your prayers.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Theologians

It seems like most of the time Christians don't see the need for theology. Some Christians think that one can't love theology and evangelism at the same time.
I think that many Christians have misunderstood.
When I first became a Christian I didn't think that theology was important at all. I just thought that theology was something for preachers like Phil Johnson and John MacArthur.
But then God brought people into my life to challenge my beliefs, and I was not ready to give an answer.
So many times I have heard the excuse that, "If you like or study theology then you will be puffed up and arrogant."
Just because the Bible warns of that happening, doesn't mean that you can just apply that to everyone who enjoys the study of theology. Yes, it can make one prideful. But for the most part, I find people who, the more that they study theology, the more they have a lower view of man and a higher view of God.
I've also found that others in the church think that theology isn't as important as evangelism so they have an excuse not to study it.
How wrong they are!
And so often the people who think that theology and evangelism cannot go hand-in-hand preach a false Gospel to the unconverted! To evangelize we must preach the true and saving Gospel, not a false, man-centered one.
Theology is necessary for evangelism, and for your everyday walk with God.
Without theology in evangelism we come out with the teaching of, "God loves you, He died for the sins of the entire world, all you have to do is say a little prayer, and accept Jesus into your heart, and then you have a free ticket to Heaven!"
That's what these churches are going around preaching right now. Not even the Gospel! Without hell, sin, the justice and grace of God, and repentance, it's not the True Gospel!
Without theology we have ended up like this. Theology is so important, and yet so many people refuse to study their Bible.
So many of us Christians have missed that: Just like every Christian should be an Evangelist, every Christian should be a Theologian.

God Bless,
   A.W.

So Close

I'm so close to being done with the series I am writing. I just finished the second book in my series. And for the first time in my life, I have ended up with a novel!
Now let me make it clear, I've been writing for four and a half years, it's not like I have only finished one of two books in my life. Whenever I write it always turns out to be a novella, not quite a novel, and not a short story. Just in the middle.
My first drafts usually turn out to be novels, but when I go back to editing them it turns out to be a novella.
So it's exciting for me that I've actually gotten something longer than my other projects.

Anyways, this week I've been thinking about writing, probably more than I should have.
One more book in the series, and then I am finished forever with that series. Lord willing, I can move on to more important projects.
It's exciting for me, but at the same time I find it discouraging. Discouraging because I am not as good of a writer that I should be--I don't feel like I can go on to bigger projects because I'm not good enough.
See what I mean? I've been thinking too much about it this week.
The plain and simple fact is is that I will never feel qualified or ready to write something meaningful and important. The plain and simple fact is that I just have to keep doing one thing, and that is to write.
I just need to write.
As a writer, there is a time to think about these things, and there is a time to just write. Right now, I just need to write. I need to stop thinking, and just write.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Great Song

No matter what I'm doing, or how bad or tired I am feeling this song will never cease to put a smile on my face.
Found out about it from always listening to James White's Dividing Line.

God Bless, 
  A.W.

Every Morning

Every day, every morning we are faced with the question: Will you waste this day or will you live for Him?
Every morning after a rough night where you are struggling and at times, falling, you are faced with the question.
How will we live our day? Will we be sulking around in failure and guilt from what happened yesterday, or last night? 
That's not how God wants us to live. Yes, He wants us to repent, but not live on in guilt that tells us that He will never forgive us!

1 John 1:9
  "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

He promises! Right there! He will forgive if you really mean it. He means for us to have sorrow over sin, but not to the point that we are wasting our lives in a spiritual depression.
Each and every day, whether we had a good night or a rough one; we are faced with the question each morning: 'Will I waste my life or live with all of my might for Him?"

God Bless,
  A.W.

How Do We Look at Them?

Last night I went to a friend's church, and I saw a girl who I had grown up with. I didn't recognize her at first, but I thought it was her. I asked two of the people I was with if it was her. They said yes in a quiet tone, still not looking back at her.
I will call the girl "Jenny". After graduating early from high school she totally rebelled against her parents and left home. That story is all to familiar to me. I don't need to describe the terrible things that she did while away, because I am sure that you can imagine what happened on your own.
She came back home a month or so ago. I asked her why she came back, she told me that she didn't leave on a good note, so she wanted to fix that. But just because it might sound good doesn't mean that she's truly repentant or a Christian. Only God knows the real reasons she came back.
When I first approached her, I asked her what's new. She proudly told me about all of her piercings and her tattoo. How worldly were all of these things. It made me sad.
After a while of talking, we went back into the group of people to talk about things we are working on as a Christian. And she talked a lot.
Her talk seemed like she was a Christian. She said she was working on things. She wrote Scriptures down and said that she should read them. But that's just how she was before in church.
It felt like she had put on the "Christian" mask again. But only God knows her heart.

Then I met her boyfriend, he wasn't friendly. In fact, I haven't met a whole lot of people who don't even want to meet you. He kept touching her--it made me sad because she thinks that there is actually something meaningful between them. But he just wants one thing from her.

Later my friends asked me why I talked to her, as if she were such a terrible person that they should stay away from. I was saddened by my friends' response to her.
Just because God didn't let you or me go that far that we go and get drunk at parties doesn't mean that we were any better than her. God could have let you go as far as she has been going. Maybe He did, maybe He didn't.
Just because we never did some of the things that Beth has, doesn't make us any better or holier. God could have let us. And at least, knowing my own heart, I would have gone as far as she did if God didn't save me. I was no better than she is. I was just as dirty on the inside as she is.
All of that makes me think how often we do that? Not talk or want to be with a person who has a terrible past. Do we consider ourselves better than non-Christians are?

I know that if at least she is going to church, there is hope that God will save her. As long as she is doing that; there is hope. There is always hope.
What my fear is is that as Christians, we don't want to reach out to her. We know what she has done, we know how rotten her life has been. We are no better! Just because God has saved you makes you no better than them! It's only by God's grace that you are not like that! Only by His grace!
There are thousands of "Jennys" at our churches. There are thousands of people with terrible pasts that we refuse to reach out to. We were no better than they are. We were just as dirty and rotten.
We must reach the "Jennys" at our churches. And we will not reach them if we refuse to even speak to them, or even look. Are we reaching them? Are you reaching them?

Four Kinds of Freedom

"1) If you don't have the desire to do a thing, you are not fully free to do it. Oh, you may muster the will power to do what you don't want to do, but nobody calls that full freedom. It's not the way we want to live. There is a constraint and pressure on us that we don't want.

 2) And if you have the desire to do something, but no ability to do it, you are not free to do it.

 3) And if you have the desire and the ability to do something, but no opportunity to do it, you are not free to do it.

 4) And if you have the desire to do something, and the ability to do it, and the opportunity to do it, but it destroys you in the end, you are not fully free—not free indeed.

 To be fully free, we must have the desire, the ability, and the opportunity to do what will make us happy forever. No regrets. And only Jesus, the Son of God who died and rose for us, can make that possible. If the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed."  --John Piper


God Bless,
   A.W.

What It Does Not Look Like

This is what 'Living not a moment wasted' does not mean.
It does not alone mean to study your Bible for hours upon hours each day. Nor does it mean to pray for hours and hours each day, or evangelize or teach the Word because it's what God has called you to do.
If you do those things alone, as a duty, you will waste your life.
The things that we do shouldn't be a duty for us. Studying God's Word, evangelizing, teaching, and praying are nothing without a heart of passion.
You can fill up your days all you want, but in the end, if you don't have passion, then all of that was a waste.
Sometimes I sit down and read a theology book, sure I am reading it, but my mind is only half focused. Half focused on the book and what it is trying to teach me, and half focused on worldly things.
How much do you think I am getting out of a book when I read like that?
Not much. Not much at all.
Yes, we are called to study God's Word and to pray, and in and of themselves, they are wonderful things to do. My point is that without passion and a heart to do it, you'll get no where.
You can fill your day up with good works all you want; but in the end, it's just as bad as sitting in front of the TV all day. Without the heart for whatever you are doing, it will do you no good.
'Living not a moment wasted' does not mean filling up all of your time doing good works.



God Bless,
  A.W.

He's Dead

He's finally dead. Osama Bin Laden.
What could this mean for America?
This is a victory, but I'm sure the Terrorists aren't happy. In fact, I guarantee that they are going to get us back hard. That's a terrifying thought.
This year will be the 10th year anniversary of 9/11. Who knows what they could be planning for it? Or if anything at all?
May God have mercy on our disgusting country. Even though He's already given us more than we've deserved.
Pray for our rotting country, because we need it more than we have ever needed it.

God Bless,
  A.W.