The Joy of Submitting

So this morning, my pastor spoke on paradoxes. And spoke on that verse ((which, the reference entirely slips my mind)) about whoever loves his life will lose it, and whoever hates his life will keep it for eternal life.
I am sure you know that verse, but anyways, he was saying what that looked like. He gave out three points, and all of them had to do with dying to your own will, and submitting to God's.

Right now in my life, I have things that I need to let go and submit to whatever God has for me.

One of them, I've carried with me for a long time, long over two years...I hurt myself a few years back from addiction, and I've dealt with the consequences and physical pain from that every day since then. It took a long time to get me to the stage where I decided it was part of life, and that it would never go away. And that it was the will of God that it never would go away, and that I had to deal with it forever.
But now I might have the opportunity to see about the pain again. Went to the docs for it a few years ago, but gave up after a while. Now might see to it again... and over the last few months I've decided I didn't want it...but now I have to be ready to submit to whatever God has for me.
Which is hard. I want to be done with this pain, and God might make me have it forever. I need to be ready to submit to it.

And also, letting people go--letting people go on with their lives, and not holding people so closely--that's what I deal with a lot.  I have to let it all go sometimes.

And I know that that when I let go of my will-when MY will dies, and I submit to God's--I experience joy like none other. I know in the back of my head, that I need to let go of my wants, and my will, and submit to God. Need to trust in Him.
In the past, when I've learned to submit to Him--the joy that comes afterwards is like none other. And in the end, when I don't understand at the time,  afterwards I can look back and smile, because I understand a bit about how things worked out.
I mean, God's protected me from hurt and heartbreak, and sorrows. So much--it makes me feel so loved by God. Everything is for a reason, and God's will is so much better than mine, and the end is so much sweeter than I know right now.
Need to remember to do this again, because I'll have to do it so many more times in my life.
Needed to hear that sermon. Needed to get this out.
It's so hard to do, but in the end it will be so worth it.

God Bless,
  A.W.