Discernment

"No one cares if a man is right or wrong,
No one cares if a man is weak or strong.
No one cares to even be right
They'd rather stay in the darkness of night.
It is the plain truth that they doubt
It is the Scriptures they don't care about.
In comforting lies they place their trust,
And fall into pits as deadly as lust.
They lift the lies up to be so grand,
And shoot down those who dare to stand.
They suck in what they are told
And listen to the wolves who are bold.
They look to the preachers who are "hip" and "cool"
And call anyone who disagrees an ignorant fool.
They don't care what God's Word has to say
They let all areas turn to shades of grey.
People have stopped discerning the right from wrong
They've stopped caring if the teaching is weak or strong.
They're willingly led astray
Ending up too far away.
And yet, so few dare to stand
Too afraid of these lies, built up so grand."

God Bless,
  A.W.

My Christmas List

"On this Christmas list there are one too many things
Being only what miracles of grace could bring.
I would not ask for myself,
But I'd ask for a good friend's health.
I'd ask for the pain and sickness to be gone
So that my dearest friends would not suffer long.
I'd ask for a job and a place to live for a friend
When on his own, for himself, he must fend.
I'd ask for a friend's depression to be ripped away
Replaced by marvelous light and comfort that would always stay.
I'd ask for the salvation of those I hold dear
That my loving Father might bring them near.
I'd ask for the pastors I know to find a place
Where the people will listen and not act in great haste.
I'd ask for comfort for those who've suffered great loss
So that the waves might calm and stop in mid-toss.
I'd ask for provision and food to feed
So that my friend and her children would have all they need.

Oh, of all the things I would pray for
I cannot help but remember that I'm so poor.
What power have I to change a life
Or to take away a person's worldly strife?
Though I cannot change a thing
There is a certain hope that Jesus brings.
I know that through those trials He is at work
And isn't watching down on us just as a lurk.
And though my heart breaks for those I hold dear
I know this is what's best and that to them, God is near.
So if I must change my Christmas list
Then let me settle at this
For all the Christians I know
That through their storms they might grow.
And that those who are lost
Might look upward to the Cross.
I pray these things will come true
And that in the next year they can start new.
I pray about what this Christmas brings
I pray is it built out of extraordinary things."

God Bless,
 A.W.

A Letter For My Sister

"It's been a few months since I've seen your face
It's been a few months since you've left in great haste.
It's hard to think of last Christmas that's now so bittersweet
It's hard to remember that we might never again meet.
And now it's hard to feel the Christmas cheer
When my eyes are to the brim with tears.
It's hard to smile at those Christmas lights
When they make me think of all those painful nights.
It's hard to know you won't be here this year
It's hard to know you'd hate to even be near.
It hurts to remember all the pain you've brought
And all the sadness you've thrown in our lot.
In light of that, I should not be feeling this way
I myself should not be thrown in such dismay.
But I miss you all the same.
So call me pathetic, call me lame.
I love you how I always will
And I continue to pray for you still.
My heart will always break for you
How I pray God will open your eyes to what's true.
I hope you are gone only for a little while
Because right now it's hard to be happy and smile.
So I wonder where you'll be on Christmas Eve
I hope I can see you before I leave.
Either way I pray I'll meet you one day in the skies
Where I'll see you washed from all filthy lies
I hope we'll be Home together in the end
I hope one day we can be friends.
But today I cannot think of Christmas without tears
It's hard to be filled with Christmas cheers.
But I pray God will save you
I pray you will see what's true."

Now I wrote this poem for my sister who has done much damage to my family. It's everything I've ever wanted to say to her for the last few months. I needed it out, though she may never read it...I needed it out, so maybe when I go to church and they talk about Christmas, tears won't come to my eyes anymore. I needed it out so that I don't have to cry when I think of Christmas.
Though...knowing how I am, I probably still will. But it is nice to have it all out in one form at the very least.

And yet, as sad as Christmas can make me feel, in light of my sister not being here. I also feel hopeful in a way. Hopeful to remember why we celebrate Christmas.
We celebrate Christmas, for the birth of Christ. Christ who was sent into the world to die for sinners, for our sins. That is hope. That is the comfort that Christmas is giving me this year.
I don't know who is to be saved in the end, but perhaps my sister will be saved in the end. I hope and pray she will. I guess if it were any holiday that made me think of my sister, I would like it to be Christmas. Because while I hurt, at least I can be reminded of the hope of salvation.
At least, I have hope and prayer, if nothing else.

God Bless,
A.W.

He Is Still Loving Me

"I don't understand why God would give me an answer
When I know that I deserve something even worse than cancer.
I don't understand how there could be a yes
When I know I deserve so much less.
I don't understand why He'd give me rest
Considering how poorly I've done on the test.
I don't understand why He'd set me free
When I know so many, more worthier than me.
I can't comprehend even the little streams of light
Piercing through the clouds dark as night.
I can't recall the last day I felt the light on my skin
All I remember are these raindrops pouring down my chin.
I can't imagine these clouds going away
And yet, I've come to peace if they forever stay.
And I know I will never understand that love
That always comes crashing down from above
Taking the form of rain or shine
Tainting each part of my story, in every line.
In the end, I don't understand why He'd ever say yes
As it is, from this rain, I am already so blessed."