What Hurts

If you had to choose to either be persecuted by the non-Christians at your work or at your school or to be persecuted by the community of professing Christians, which would you choose?
I, for one would choose to be persecuted by the unbelievers.
The Bible talks a lot about persecution from the outside. Not only does the Bible mention it, the Bible promises persecution. 

2 Timothy 3:12 "Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,"

But, of course, we always apply that verse to people who are being persecuted by the world. Yet, so often in our day there are hundreds of Christians standing up in all sorts of places for the truth against false teachers and heretics, even if their own churches. Yet they are not lifted up like so many are when they are persecuted by the world.
Because anyone who creates conflict in the body must be sinning, they think. No one wants to talk about persecution in the church today, it's not heard of.
No one cares what you've gone through at your old church, no one cares if you stand alone on an essential doctrine. No one wants to deal with issues the right way. And when someone comes along and says that someone is wrong, the Christin community reacts.
"Don't fight, you should have peace with all men. You are the one who is wrong, not the other person. You should live in peace." they say.
If you stand for the truth where it is trampled and scorned on, in a church or in any Christian environment, you will be persecuted. By those professing believers, and it's going to hurt.
A lot.
I know that for me, I would rather be persecuted a thousand times by the world than by the professing Christians in my church or anywhere else.
Sure people can call me names, cuss me out, do whatever they want to me, but what do I expect? It's the world. Sure people can renounce my God all day when I share my faith. But what do I expect?
I expect nothing of them. They are the world. Nothing they say will hurt me. It will break me and rip me apart because they are so lost in their sins, but I expect it.
In the Christian community you expect to be loved and encouraged by the body, but when you stand for something everything changes. And they turn on you.
The words of hate towards my God by the "Christians" have stuck with me more than anything else has. Those words hurt. They hurt more than I can ever tell you. They hurt more than what any non-Christian has said to me.
The first time I stood for Christ, I was shocked that professing Christians could say such horrible things about my God. After that first time a friend told me, "Count it all joy, count it all joy."
For me, every opportunity I have gotten to stand for the truth, whether I stood alone or not, it was worth it. If it was against the non-Christians or the professing Christians, if it brought me persecution in the end or not, it was always worth it. Those words will never cease to bring me pain, and after all of it, those comforting words from my dear friend come back to me.
"Count it all joy, count it all joy."

God Bless,
  A.W.

The Plan

 So I just came up with the most ingenious plan for my writing.
I have officially accomplished all of my goals for March, and I was considering making goals for April. The only goal I have for April is to finish reading Calvin's Institutes, which I have about 300 more pages left. This will definitely be a challenge.
Anyways, I came up with a brilliant writing plan for this year. This is how it will go.

I. I am going to spend at most, two months editing AD.

II. Then over Summer I am going to write the last book in the series: DVSAD.
     --Not going to have a whole lot of time to write this Summer, so I am at least going to finish writing the     first draft.

III. After Summer I will spend the rest of the year editing DVSAD.
And then I will be done! Officially I will be finished with the DD series. And I can finally move on to bigger and better projects.

Now, I will write about something that I was thinking of this week.
I was talking to a friend this week about Christian fiction. I told him that most of it was clique, and the writing was mostly the same. He argued that it wasn't and that it was unique.
This is something I would argue till death about.
I have read quite a few books that would be labeled Christian Fantasy. Most tend to be the same. Their writing style is almost always the same, there isn't anything unique about it. Their stories are about characters who either are in the real world, and somehow get into a fantasy world, and go on a quest and become a "Christian" on the way, OR it's about a character who is already in a fantasy world that must go on a quest and on their way becomes a "Christian".
Sometimes there are stories where the characters are already Christians but they must go on a quest, and it changes the person so that they will have more faith, or that they won't be so selfish.
I wouldn't mind if some people did those stories, but the problem is is that almost everyone is doing them.
The Christian fantasy genre has become so clique these days.
There is only one author who has broken that flow, but I would never recommend his books to you or anyone else.
Something is wrong with this. Terribly wrong.
The one man who has broken the flow and come up with some great plots and has a different writing style is a heretic. And the others who have decent theology are just going with the flow and don't care if their stories are clique and if their writing isn't much better than a kid in High school.
I know young people who can write better than some published Christian authors can.
Do you see something wrong with that?
Maybe people are aspiring to be too much like the successful authors of this genre. They aren't looking to be unique. If you want to glorify God in writing, and if He has given you the heart and talent, then you better be ready to push it for all you're worth.
Christian Fantasy has grown so pathetic.
Who will break that flow?
May God raise up men and women who will break that flow.

God Bless,
  A.W.

One Thing That Doesn't Motivate Me

While reading Why Revival Tarries, I came upon a section where Ravenhill was talking about the lost people in all of the world. He gave a bunch of numbers for every place in the world, to see how many lost people there are. For some people that section probably was a motivation to pray for the lost people.
But for me, it was just numbers. For me, unless I experience something, or someone tells me personally about lost people, or people being led astray it doesn't effect me usually.
When missionaries came to the church, and I didn't know them, they would usually tell happy stories about random things that would happen while they were over in India or another place--they would never talk about the hard things. It doesn't impact me the same way if the people don't talk about the hard things--and more about the people, and their spiritual need.
Sure they live in poverty, but I don't really know how that is, I have been very blessed to live in America with money and a roof under my head. Never have been on a mission trip to Mexico or anywhere, so I don't know how that is like.
I can only imagine. And not to say that I don't care and pray for people around the world, I do still, but it's just harder for me to pray with a passion for them.

Unless I experience it, it isn't the same for me.
Last year, in Summer, I was at the carnival out reach thing that my church was doing and it was in LA. The ghetto part of LA. At the end of the carnival a man from the church we had paired up with went up and started sharing his testimony.
At first I thought he was alright, and that maybe God would use that testimony to bring lost souls to Him. But then the man started talking about getting a vision from God, and some other crazy things that no one was expecting. He never mentioned man's sinful state, or hell. All he said was that you had to accept Christ into your heart, you didn't have to repent or anything. At the end he did an altar call sort of thing. He kept asking who wanted to go to Heaven, and then people began raising their hands; he prayed over them and then claimed them all to be saved.
I was shocked.
Sure I had heard sermons about the prayer that damns many to hell. And sure I thought it was sad. But I never really understood how terrible that teaching was. That if you said a prayer it would get you to heaven, and you didn't have to repent or anything. You just had to say a prayer.
That didn't break me before as it broke me that day. I never understood the seriousness of it until that day.
Maybe that is just how I am. That I need to experience something for it to actually break me.

I think I have always had a problem with caring. Never did care about my soul or eternity before I was a Christian. Hard things had to happen in my life to break me down. I wasn't afraid of Hell, I didn't give a rip.
Maybe it is just how I am.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Why Revival Tarries

So last night I started reading a book on my Kindle, it's called Why Revival Tarries, by Leonard Ravenhill. I am only on chapter 3, but I have already passed some great quotes by him.
I wouldn't agree with some of his views, he was a bit Arminian, but other than that, I think that almost every Christian would agree on revival. And that is what the book is about.

I love reading it, it's almost like I can hear the passion in his voice as he speaks. I have listened to a few of his sermons, the ones on revival and prayer, those are encouraging. Sure he doesn't have all the right views on the atonement but he preached repentance and faith the same as any other Calvinist would.
It's an incredible book, that every Christian should read. The words are passionate and convicting. The book is mostly about prayer, not getting up and doing "mighty works for God" to start a revival.
Revival starts with prayer. Prayer is the core of revival.
Whether you are an Arminian or a Calvinist, this is a great book for any Christian.

"No man is greater than his prayer life. The pastor who is not praying is playing; the people who are not praying are straying."

"Poverty-stricken as the Church is today in many things, she is most stricken here, in the place of prayer. We have many organizers, but few agonizers; many players and payers, fer pray-ers; many singers, few clingers; lots of pastors, few wrestlers; many fears, few tears; much fashion, little passion; many interferers, few intercessors; many writers, but few fighters. Failing here, we fail everywhere."
--Leonard Ravenhill

God Bless,
  A.W.

"It's not real life"

You know, so many times I have heard people refer to the internet as not real. Once I heard a boy talking about how he was hurt from what one person said to him on the internet, and the person he was talking to shrugged and said simply, "Well, it's on the internet. It's not real life."
I hate when people say that.
It doesn't feel real when you talk to people across the internet sometimes, because you can't see their face, you can't hear their personal voice. It took me a long time to realize that just because you can't see someone's face or hear their voice doesn't mean they aren't real.
Whenever I used to give people prayer requests at my old church I would have to explain the whole situation to them. And they would ask me, "So where do you know these people from?" I would say, "I know them through a forum."
They would give me a strange look, and say, "Okay..." After an awkward moment they would just say they would pray, and they would never ask again.
People don't look at usernames on forums as real people.
I know when I first started debating on a forum, and I ran into some pretty screwed up people. For a while I just shrugged what they said off. And one day, when I started to get to know people it hit me. These are real people. They aren't apart of some computer. They are real. They are real.
They are just as real as the people who sit next to you at church.
Just because you can't see them doesn't mean that they aren't real, and they aren't in need.

A few months ago I was talking to a guy who, when I said I had some friends on the internet laughed at me. He probably thought I was a nerd. But in reality, the internet is a great tool to reach people.
There is a need in every place. I go on a forum constantly because I know that I have opportunities there, to share my faith, to encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Sometimes people are afraid in their own churches and homes to say what they are thinking, or to share what they are going through. And sometimes it's easier to be accepted at a place where no one cares what you look like, or how you sound--they care about your heart.
And sometimes it's so much easier to write instead of speaking.
There is a need everywhere. Even on places on the net. There are people who are dying. There are people who are going through the storms and who keep looking at the waves instead of the Creator. There are people who are in need.
Yes, even on the internet.

Sometimes people are in trials, and sometimes they just need someone to pray. And even when no one understands who they know in person, it's encouraging to be able to go on a forum and have people understand you. And tell you that they are praying. Sometimes all you want is to hear that someone is out there who cares, and who prays, and who thinks of you.
But that won't happen if you keep telling others that the people on the other side of the computer aren't real.

I am sick of people telling me that it isn't real, because there are people out there who need encouragement and who need the Savior. There are people dying. Real people.
If you don't view them as real people then you won't pray for them like your pray for your unbelieving neighbor. You won't cry and pray for your brothers and sisters in Christ across the country if you don't even look at them as real people.

And you say that you can't know if someone is lying or serious. You say that you can't know if someone doesn't care or is sincere.
Open your ears and listen for once. And you'll hear their voices. Crying from the words, screaming from the screen. You can hear their voices. And sometimes that is more than seeing their faces every week at church. You might never know the faces that belong to those voices, but sometimes that's all you need. All you need to set you weeping and crying for those people is to hear their voices.


God Bless,
  A.W.

Color

Alright, I wrote this piece in October of last year...so I don't have much of an excuse of why it's written so badly.
Anyways, you can say whatever you want about it, and I won't get offended. Criticism is always motivating and helpful to me.
So here goes.

"Savee stepped forward, her small bear feet walking upon the air rather than the gray dirt. Her long dark gray hair fell to her mid-back. The same shade of gray was the gown she wore, swishing around her ankles at every step she took. The same shade was also the color of her eyes. And though gray seemed like a stoic color, one could not miss the dreadful despair in her eyes. Her soft features were melted into a hopeless expression.
With her long fingers she touched the tiara on her head, it was silver, but what was that anymore? Everything was gray, how could silver be much better?
With a sigh Savee walked through the garden. The dirt, the rocks, the bushes and plants, the flowers, the trees and even the chattering birds were all tainted gray. This is the world that she had created. This is everything that she had ever wanted. All of her dreams and fantasies had ended up in ruin. They had all cast her into a dark world. This is where it all led her. Why didn't it make her happy?
Savee smiled slightly seeing a brilliant flower stretched towards the sky, above its companions in a strong attempt to get sunlight. Its gray petals extended to every side, Savee lifted a hand, gently touching the petals. Suddenly the flower began to tremble, shaking like it had been hit by a storm; it crumbled, first the petals and then the entire stem. It all crumbled to a pile of dust scattered below Savee's feet.
She let out a deep sigh. One that she had been holding in for much too long. This always happens...She thought, whatever I touch dies, withers, crumbles. 
Looking up at the world around her she paused. Everything was gray. Dark gray. There was nothing there. Nothing that wouldn't disintegrate with her touch. There was nothing to make her happy anymore. It all escaped from her grasp.
"I have nothing," she finally whispered, suddenly understanding what she had done. "Every blessing that the Almighty has given me, I have destroyed with these...these," she paused looking down at her shaking hands, "these hands, these fingers."
She wanted the world the way she wanted it. And this was where her free will desires had lef her. She let them pull her into a glorious affair only to have them abandon her.
"I--I don't want it anymore, Almighty. Take it away. Please--please take it all away. i don't want anything to do with what I have created. Take me away from this--this hell, Almighty." she begged, her voice trembling.
Tears welled up in her now-green eyes. Guilt swept over her like a shadow, capturing her soul in a nightmare. Then a light flickered inside her, warming her ice cold soul. At the same moment rain began to fall, sprinkling down on her. Splattering against her face, the red instantly returned to her cheeks, splattering onto her hair making it oak brown.  Splattering against her skin painting it tan.
Color.
Savee opened her mouth, catching the rain drops. She laughed. Something she had not done in so long. Suddenly the rain began pelting down from the gray sky, making her dress turn to a forest green and cherry red. As it hit harder the plants sprouted up, turning green, the flowers blue, red, orange, and yellow. Brown to the trees and sunset pink to the blossoms.
Colors that she had never known. This was life.
Tilting her face upwards she laughed gleefully, raising her hands up to the heavens and spun. Her dress whirling in ecstasy as she cried and laughed. Tears ran down her cheeks, blending with the rain drops. No longer in bondage to her desires, no longer a slave.
She was free."


So there you have it. Critique it all you want.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Nothing too Interesting

This isn't really an interesting post but on Friday, I am going to post something I wrote a few months ago. Maybe that will be a bit more interesting for you. That is, if you enjoy criticizing bad writing it will.
Anyways, this has been a great month, writing wise. I finished typing out Iceblade (Part one of AD) onto my computer, and this week I have been working on the outline for the last book in my series. Lord willing, today I will finish writing out the outline. And then I think I will go edit Iceblade, and then type out the second part of AD, and then edit that. And then finally after all of that I am going to reread both parts and make sure that it all flows one last time before I put it away for good.
So I have been thinking a lot about my writing lately. And I realize that I need to figure out how to get to the place God wants me to be as a writer. I feel that God is calling me to be a writer, and I know what He wants me to write, but I can't write it until I finish my series.
I am hoping that by then I will be a good enough writer to actually sit down and write that book.
And now that my series is coming to a close, I realize that I am still not the writer I should be.
Everyone always says that I should take classes to become a better writer.
But I have taken classes, and they haven't helped me at all.

It was like whenever I enjoyed what I had to write, my teacher didn't like it and gave me a bad grade. But when I played by her rules I couldn't stand my papers. And I grew frustrated, because no one ever gave me any good advice on how to become a good writer.
But one day I was at dinner with my older brother who writes scripts and does filming. He told me that I should write what I want to write, and I should write how I want to write. Not what and how everyone else wants me to write.
So I took that advice and I finally embraced the freedom of writing.
But I am still left with the problem of writing.
I like writing like the "Epic Fantasy" way, that the authors do a lot of world building, and get into the characters' heads. I absolutely love that writing, but some people don't like it because it has a lot of run-ons.
But that's what makes it good! Because you are getting the characters so much in depth.
Some people just don't understand it.
And then there are authors of suspense novels, and they tend to have a lot of fragments in their writing. But that's what makes it good!
Some people just criticize those authors for that. Some people just don't understand.
And so when people tell me to play by the rules of grammar and spelling, I agree to an extant.
I agree to the extant that everything should be spelled correctly and that there should be good grammar in the book but when people get into the run-ons and fragments I would disagree at times, depending on the book and genre.

And here is another thing--I want to break into Christian Fantasy. I can't really take any good advice from that group, because the majority of people all write the same exact way. And most of their books are about the same exact things, with the same exact theme. I mean, if they their writing isn't bad, their theology is! You can't have two in one it seems for Christian Fantasy at least.
That's got to change.
I read book from that genre strictly for reference, of what not to do. And half of the secular fantasy books I read because they tell me what to do.
I can't seem to win either way.
So now I seem to be at a crossroads.

Two years ago, around this time I was reading a whole lot of books on writing, and copying pages and quotes from those books down, and my writing greatly increased. I still have those notes. And a few months back I would read through some of my favorite books and write down notes about the structure and craft of the story. That helped a lot too.
So here is one thing that I have considered doing--is reviewing all of those notes I have taken long ago and applying those things to my writing.
That would surely help.
And the second thing I could do--that I have heard so many authors already say is that I should read a lot.
I believe it was Stephen King who said, "If you don't have any time for reading, you don't have time for writing."
The writers who I respect most say that I should read a lot. That will help me with my writing, no doubt about it.
And then, most importantly, I need to write, write, write. I should be writing more. I don't write that much, at most, an hour a day. I won't get anywhere with just writing a few minutes each day. I have to keep going at it. That is how you get better. By writing.

So there are three things that I have considered. Now trying to think of more things to improve my writing.
But for now I will just put those.
Now, one last thing before I end for those who are a bit depressed that I didn't post anything meaningful today.
This is a video by one of my favorite preachers, Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones.
Great video where he talks about George Whitfield's life. He did live a truly incredible life. Just watch and you will know what I mean. Even if you don't know who on earth either of those men are. Maybe this video will inspire you to listen and read more of Lloyd-Jones' sermons and read more of Whitfield's sermons too.
Both men were greatly used by God.

God Bless,
  A.W.