Friday, March 18, 2011


Alright, I wrote this piece in October of last I don't have much of an excuse of why it's written so badly.
Anyways, you can say whatever you want about it, and I won't get offended. Criticism is always motivating and helpful to me.
So here goes.

"Savee stepped forward, her small bear feet walking upon the air rather than the gray dirt. Her long dark gray hair fell to her mid-back. The same shade of gray was the gown she wore, swishing around her ankles at every step she took. The same shade was also the color of her eyes. And though gray seemed like a stoic color, one could not miss the dreadful despair in her eyes. Her soft features were melted into a hopeless expression.
With her long fingers she touched the tiara on her head, it was silver, but what was that anymore? Everything was gray, how could silver be much better?
With a sigh Savee walked through the garden. The dirt, the rocks, the bushes and plants, the flowers, the trees and even the chattering birds were all tainted gray. This is the world that she had created. This is everything that she had ever wanted. All of her dreams and fantasies had ended up in ruin. They had all cast her into a dark world. This is where it all led her. Why didn't it make her happy?
Savee smiled slightly seeing a brilliant flower stretched towards the sky, above its companions in a strong attempt to get sunlight. Its gray petals extended to every side, Savee lifted a hand, gently touching the petals. Suddenly the flower began to tremble, shaking like it had been hit by a storm; it crumbled, first the petals and then the entire stem. It all crumbled to a pile of dust scattered below Savee's feet.
She let out a deep sigh. One that she had been holding in for much too long. This always happens...She thought, whatever I touch dies, withers, crumbles. 
Looking up at the world around her she paused. Everything was gray. Dark gray. There was nothing there. Nothing that wouldn't disintegrate with her touch. There was nothing to make her happy anymore. It all escaped from her grasp.
"I have nothing," she finally whispered, suddenly understanding what she had done. "Every blessing that the Almighty has given me, I have destroyed with these...these," she paused looking down at her shaking hands, "these hands, these fingers."
She wanted the world the way she wanted it. And this was where her free will desires had lef her. She let them pull her into a glorious affair only to have them abandon her.
"I--I don't want it anymore, Almighty. Take it away. Please--please take it all away. i don't want anything to do with what I have created. Take me away from this--this hell, Almighty." she begged, her voice trembling.
Tears welled up in her now-green eyes. Guilt swept over her like a shadow, capturing her soul in a nightmare. Then a light flickered inside her, warming her ice cold soul. At the same moment rain began to fall, sprinkling down on her. Splattering against her face, the red instantly returned to her cheeks, splattering onto her hair making it oak brown.  Splattering against her skin painting it tan.
Savee opened her mouth, catching the rain drops. She laughed. Something she had not done in so long. Suddenly the rain began pelting down from the gray sky, making her dress turn to a forest green and cherry red. As it hit harder the plants sprouted up, turning green, the flowers blue, red, orange, and yellow. Brown to the trees and sunset pink to the blossoms.
Colors that she had never known. This was life.
Tilting her face upwards she laughed gleefully, raising her hands up to the heavens and spun. Her dress whirling in ecstasy as she cried and laughed. Tears ran down her cheeks, blending with the rain drops. No longer in bondage to her desires, no longer a slave.
She was free."

So there you have it. Critique it all you want.

God Bless,

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