Some Spurgeon

"Men will allow God to be everywhere but on his throne. They will allow him to be in his workshop to fashion worlds and make stars. They will allow Him to be in His almonry to dispense His alms and bestow his bounties. they will allow Him to sustain the earth and bear up the pillars thereof, or light the lamps of heaven, or rule the waves of the ever-moving ocean; but when God ascends Hes throne, His creatures then gnash their teeth. And we proclaim an enthroned God, and His right to do as He wills with His own, to dispose of His creatures as He thinks well, without consulting them in the matter; then it is that we are hissed and execrated, and then it is that men turn a deaf ear to us, for God on His throne is not the God they love. But it is God upon the throne that we love to preach. It is God upon His throne whom we trust."


"There are times when solitude is better than society, and silence is wiser than speech. We should be better Christians if we were more alone, waiting upon God, and gathering through meditation on His Word spiritual strength for labour in his service. We ought to muse upon the things of God, because we thus get the real nutriment out of them. . . . Why is it that some Christians, although they hear many sermons, make but slow advances in the divine life? Because they neglect their closets, and do not thoughtfully meditate on God's Word. They love the wheat, but they do not grind it; they would have the corn, but they will not go forth into the fields to gather it; the fruit hangs upon the tree, but they will not pluck it; the water flows at their feet, but they will not stoop to drink it. From such folly deliver us, O Lord. . . ."

--C.H. Spurgeon

God Bless,
  A.W.

Random Video I Made

Not very good though, but It was my first try. So at least give me that. Anyways, decided to put a poem I wrote about people who struggle with depression/addictions to music and some photos.
Seen lots of people do it before, think I did it a bit too fast though. But...lesson learned at least. Here it is.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Choppy

To explain the things going through my mind this week would make this post end up being entirely long. So instead, I've decided to just post a poem explaining myself. It's rather choppy, and it doesn't flow all that well, but I'm too lazy to edit it. It's alright for now.

'Worth Fighting For'

"It's always been easy to run alone
And only stop to help a friend who falls
It's easy to block out any other wounded man's groans
It's easy to ignore a stranger who crawls.

It's easy to ignore it all,
And keep at my run
At least until God breaks me down to a crawl
Then it all comes crashing down, with the simple fact that I am not done.

I am not done with my past
From my knees I look back
To the sorrow and pain that still lasts
I realize the love I lack.

I lack the love to see my family who was in darkness and at war,
I've blocked out their screams and cries
To me, all that mattered was that I was sore
To me, all that mattered was my battle of lies.

In my heart, to my core, it's always been about me
It's always been about my sin to kill
All that mattered was whether or not I could be freed.
But now with brokenness, my Commander has me filled.

As I get up, my body is shaking,
My friends are screaming at me to press on
They know I'm not faking
But I know to turn forward and run away is wrong.

Running back to pick up the pieces of my past
Gathering up all the hurt and pain
I commit myself to putting it in words that will last
No longer will I be afraid to be caught in the rain.

I've never known someone so selfish as me
Who did their best to throw everything away
I refuse to let everything just be
I will not stop till it is all out on the tray.

My broken self keeps me p and fighting
I see a need, and out of my heart the lessons learned pour
Because now I know what's worth writing
Because there are people worth writing for.

I don't care if everyone is telling me to leave it
I'm not stopping while there are people dying
So I'm gathering every bit
And not giving up trying.

I won't let anyone tell me it's not worth it
I won't let them say it's just a chore
Because in truth, they're worth every bit
Because in truth, people are out there worth fighting for."

Yeah...I feel like I could have done better. But I am going to leave it there for now.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Just Another Poem....

"What have been our greatest lies?
Has it been the "I'm good" in a reply to shut people out?
Has it been the smiles we put on in quick denies?
What is it that has caused them no doubt?

The only answer is in the mirror
Where your perfect smile and shining eyes hide a million tears
Let the floodgates open, releasing your fear
When you realize all you are is a mask among your peers.

Now the face you see is your greatest enemy,
You want to hate it, to flee, to fight,
Until you let the world tell you there's no remedy.
Suddenly you start thinking, but you know it's not right

You start seeing all the lies that made you believe everything was just fine.
You took the cheap way our of the pain
And you believed every line.
Now you've come through without a single gain.

You can cover up those scratches, scars, bruises, burns, but what's the use?
Even if you stay away for months, you'll still come back to pick up that knife
You're so sick of your own self-abuse
And for a moment, you think it's okay to take your own life.

All at once you've forgotten your purpose, your reason.
You've forgotten all that your Heavenly Father has done
You didn't stop to consider that it's just a dry season
Because you thought you were the only one.

But God isn't calling you to come Home just yet,
All the tragic happenings of your past are meant to be collected
When the cuts and bruises don't fade, you aren't meant to fret
Because all was set up in such a way for you to be connected.

At church you look around only to see smiling faces
They know all the right words to speak to get away
They all seem so far in their races
But in truth, they haven't the courage to say.

In the end, so many are just like you
Who struggle in the night, and in day put on a mask to fit,
The idea that you were pointless was never true
Because once you see the need, the candle must be lit.

What a testimony you could be,
Of only you rolled up your sleeves, revealing your scars
What opportunities you will begin to see
When the Truth carries you so far."

Expand

I'll expand on this poem later. Even though I told myself that I was done with writing poetry for a while--but over the last few days, been talking to a new friend about theology and heretics, one in particular.
But I  became inspired suddenly. So I decided to write.
Going to expand later; probably going to try and make it applicable for Christians, and not just a random poem about how too often Christians aren't discerning.
Anyways, here it is. Literally, just finished it.

"You do not know the wolf you
prance so happily about.
You figure all he says is true
He never let you doubt.

What a dangerous game you play
Letting him speak
You invite him to stay
And discernment is leaking.

Letting the world turn grey
Kind and powerful words he uses as the bait
Soaking in all that he has to say
In this way you choose your own fate."


God Bless,
  A.W.

Making The Most Of It

2012! Here at last, though I thought 2011 went by much too quickly. 2011 was pack full of things. And I come out of that year thankful for every bit of it; the light parts and the dark. Everything was a blessing.
God taught me so much.
He taught me a lot about people and friendships.
He taught me about freedom from addiction.
He taught me how to deal with depression.
And even at the very end of the year, He let me gather my thoughts of certain subjects so that I would have a view on them. The two most important subjects were: Depression, and rejection. Things I deal with pretty much every day. Things I struggle with.
Already this year I've struggled so hard with not falling into depression again; gathering the things that I have learned last year, I can better fight this coming year with myself.
Right now, today, it's hard not to give up and give into depression. I know that if I wasn't a Christian I would be dead. But God has me here, and He's given me things to do.
I am working hard at those things right now, working hard to make things happen--God is blessing me in those things too.
I came out of such a great year, and now I don't think this will be such a wonderful year. But whatever God has in store for me, I'm determined to make the most of it.
It's been a sad start of the year; but I am going to hold on. Going to do what God has commanded me to do. Going to make the most of this year; just like I did with last year.
Not going to give up tonight.

God Bless,
 A.W.