What Hurts

If you had to choose to either be persecuted by the non-Christians at your work or at your school or to be persecuted by the community of professing Christians, which would you choose?
I, for one would choose to be persecuted by the unbelievers.
The Bible talks a lot about persecution from the outside. Not only does the Bible mention it, the Bible promises persecution. 

2 Timothy 3:12 "Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,"

But, of course, we always apply that verse to people who are being persecuted by the world. Yet, so often in our day there are hundreds of Christians standing up in all sorts of places for the truth against false teachers and heretics, even if their own churches. Yet they are not lifted up like so many are when they are persecuted by the world.
Because anyone who creates conflict in the body must be sinning, they think. No one wants to talk about persecution in the church today, it's not heard of.
No one cares what you've gone through at your old church, no one cares if you stand alone on an essential doctrine. No one wants to deal with issues the right way. And when someone comes along and says that someone is wrong, the Christin community reacts.
"Don't fight, you should have peace with all men. You are the one who is wrong, not the other person. You should live in peace." they say.
If you stand for the truth where it is trampled and scorned on, in a church or in any Christian environment, you will be persecuted. By those professing believers, and it's going to hurt.
A lot.
I know that for me, I would rather be persecuted a thousand times by the world than by the professing Christians in my church or anywhere else.
Sure people can call me names, cuss me out, do whatever they want to me, but what do I expect? It's the world. Sure people can renounce my God all day when I share my faith. But what do I expect?
I expect nothing of them. They are the world. Nothing they say will hurt me. It will break me and rip me apart because they are so lost in their sins, but I expect it.
In the Christian community you expect to be loved and encouraged by the body, but when you stand for something everything changes. And they turn on you.
The words of hate towards my God by the "Christians" have stuck with me more than anything else has. Those words hurt. They hurt more than I can ever tell you. They hurt more than what any non-Christian has said to me.
The first time I stood for Christ, I was shocked that professing Christians could say such horrible things about my God. After that first time a friend told me, "Count it all joy, count it all joy."
For me, every opportunity I have gotten to stand for the truth, whether I stood alone or not, it was worth it. If it was against the non-Christians or the professing Christians, if it brought me persecution in the end or not, it was always worth it. Those words will never cease to bring me pain, and after all of it, those comforting words from my dear friend come back to me.
"Count it all joy, count it all joy."

God Bless,
  A.W.

The Plan

 So I just came up with the most ingenious plan for my writing.
I have officially accomplished all of my goals for March, and I was considering making goals for April. The only goal I have for April is to finish reading Calvin's Institutes, which I have about 300 more pages left. This will definitely be a challenge.
Anyways, I came up with a brilliant writing plan for this year. This is how it will go.

I. I am going to spend at most, two months editing AD.

II. Then over Summer I am going to write the last book in the series: DVSAD.
     --Not going to have a whole lot of time to write this Summer, so I am at least going to finish writing the     first draft.

III. After Summer I will spend the rest of the year editing DVSAD.
And then I will be done! Officially I will be finished with the DD series. And I can finally move on to bigger and better projects.

Now, I will write about something that I was thinking of this week.
I was talking to a friend this week about Christian fiction. I told him that most of it was clique, and the writing was mostly the same. He argued that it wasn't and that it was unique.
This is something I would argue till death about.
I have read quite a few books that would be labeled Christian Fantasy. Most tend to be the same. Their writing style is almost always the same, there isn't anything unique about it. Their stories are about characters who either are in the real world, and somehow get into a fantasy world, and go on a quest and become a "Christian" on the way, OR it's about a character who is already in a fantasy world that must go on a quest and on their way becomes a "Christian".
Sometimes there are stories where the characters are already Christians but they must go on a quest, and it changes the person so that they will have more faith, or that they won't be so selfish.
I wouldn't mind if some people did those stories, but the problem is is that almost everyone is doing them.
The Christian fantasy genre has become so clique these days.
There is only one author who has broken that flow, but I would never recommend his books to you or anyone else.
Something is wrong with this. Terribly wrong.
The one man who has broken the flow and come up with some great plots and has a different writing style is a heretic. And the others who have decent theology are just going with the flow and don't care if their stories are clique and if their writing isn't much better than a kid in High school.
I know young people who can write better than some published Christian authors can.
Do you see something wrong with that?
Maybe people are aspiring to be too much like the successful authors of this genre. They aren't looking to be unique. If you want to glorify God in writing, and if He has given you the heart and talent, then you better be ready to push it for all you're worth.
Christian Fantasy has grown so pathetic.
Who will break that flow?
May God raise up men and women who will break that flow.

God Bless,
  A.W.

One Thing That Doesn't Motivate Me

While reading Why Revival Tarries, I came upon a section where Ravenhill was talking about the lost people in all of the world. He gave a bunch of numbers for every place in the world, to see how many lost people there are. For some people that section probably was a motivation to pray for the lost people.
But for me, it was just numbers. For me, unless I experience something, or someone tells me personally about lost people, or people being led astray it doesn't effect me usually.
When missionaries came to the church, and I didn't know them, they would usually tell happy stories about random things that would happen while they were over in India or another place--they would never talk about the hard things. It doesn't impact me the same way if the people don't talk about the hard things--and more about the people, and their spiritual need.
Sure they live in poverty, but I don't really know how that is, I have been very blessed to live in America with money and a roof under my head. Never have been on a mission trip to Mexico or anywhere, so I don't know how that is like.
I can only imagine. And not to say that I don't care and pray for people around the world, I do still, but it's just harder for me to pray with a passion for them.

Unless I experience it, it isn't the same for me.
Last year, in Summer, I was at the carnival out reach thing that my church was doing and it was in LA. The ghetto part of LA. At the end of the carnival a man from the church we had paired up with went up and started sharing his testimony.
At first I thought he was alright, and that maybe God would use that testimony to bring lost souls to Him. But then the man started talking about getting a vision from God, and some other crazy things that no one was expecting. He never mentioned man's sinful state, or hell. All he said was that you had to accept Christ into your heart, you didn't have to repent or anything. At the end he did an altar call sort of thing. He kept asking who wanted to go to Heaven, and then people began raising their hands; he prayed over them and then claimed them all to be saved.
I was shocked.
Sure I had heard sermons about the prayer that damns many to hell. And sure I thought it was sad. But I never really understood how terrible that teaching was. That if you said a prayer it would get you to heaven, and you didn't have to repent or anything. You just had to say a prayer.
That didn't break me before as it broke me that day. I never understood the seriousness of it until that day.
Maybe that is just how I am. That I need to experience something for it to actually break me.

I think I have always had a problem with caring. Never did care about my soul or eternity before I was a Christian. Hard things had to happen in my life to break me down. I wasn't afraid of Hell, I didn't give a rip.
Maybe it is just how I am.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Why Revival Tarries

So last night I started reading a book on my Kindle, it's called Why Revival Tarries, by Leonard Ravenhill. I am only on chapter 3, but I have already passed some great quotes by him.
I wouldn't agree with some of his views, he was a bit Arminian, but other than that, I think that almost every Christian would agree on revival. And that is what the book is about.

I love reading it, it's almost like I can hear the passion in his voice as he speaks. I have listened to a few of his sermons, the ones on revival and prayer, those are encouraging. Sure he doesn't have all the right views on the atonement but he preached repentance and faith the same as any other Calvinist would.
It's an incredible book, that every Christian should read. The words are passionate and convicting. The book is mostly about prayer, not getting up and doing "mighty works for God" to start a revival.
Revival starts with prayer. Prayer is the core of revival.
Whether you are an Arminian or a Calvinist, this is a great book for any Christian.

"No man is greater than his prayer life. The pastor who is not praying is playing; the people who are not praying are straying."

"Poverty-stricken as the Church is today in many things, she is most stricken here, in the place of prayer. We have many organizers, but few agonizers; many players and payers, fer pray-ers; many singers, few clingers; lots of pastors, few wrestlers; many fears, few tears; much fashion, little passion; many interferers, few intercessors; many writers, but few fighters. Failing here, we fail everywhere."
--Leonard Ravenhill

God Bless,
  A.W.

"It's not real life"

You know, so many times I have heard people refer to the internet as not real. Once I heard a boy talking about how he was hurt from what one person said to him on the internet, and the person he was talking to shrugged and said simply, "Well, it's on the internet. It's not real life."
I hate when people say that.
It doesn't feel real when you talk to people across the internet sometimes, because you can't see their face, you can't hear their personal voice. It took me a long time to realize that just because you can't see someone's face or hear their voice doesn't mean they aren't real.
Whenever I used to give people prayer requests at my old church I would have to explain the whole situation to them. And they would ask me, "So where do you know these people from?" I would say, "I know them through a forum."
They would give me a strange look, and say, "Okay..." After an awkward moment they would just say they would pray, and they would never ask again.
People don't look at usernames on forums as real people.
I know when I first started debating on a forum, and I ran into some pretty screwed up people. For a while I just shrugged what they said off. And one day, when I started to get to know people it hit me. These are real people. They aren't apart of some computer. They are real. They are real.
They are just as real as the people who sit next to you at church.
Just because you can't see them doesn't mean that they aren't real, and they aren't in need.

A few months ago I was talking to a guy who, when I said I had some friends on the internet laughed at me. He probably thought I was a nerd. But in reality, the internet is a great tool to reach people.
There is a need in every place. I go on a forum constantly because I know that I have opportunities there, to share my faith, to encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Sometimes people are afraid in their own churches and homes to say what they are thinking, or to share what they are going through. And sometimes it's easier to be accepted at a place where no one cares what you look like, or how you sound--they care about your heart.
And sometimes it's so much easier to write instead of speaking.
There is a need everywhere. Even on places on the net. There are people who are dying. There are people who are going through the storms and who keep looking at the waves instead of the Creator. There are people who are in need.
Yes, even on the internet.

Sometimes people are in trials, and sometimes they just need someone to pray. And even when no one understands who they know in person, it's encouraging to be able to go on a forum and have people understand you. And tell you that they are praying. Sometimes all you want is to hear that someone is out there who cares, and who prays, and who thinks of you.
But that won't happen if you keep telling others that the people on the other side of the computer aren't real.

I am sick of people telling me that it isn't real, because there are people out there who need encouragement and who need the Savior. There are people dying. Real people.
If you don't view them as real people then you won't pray for them like your pray for your unbelieving neighbor. You won't cry and pray for your brothers and sisters in Christ across the country if you don't even look at them as real people.

And you say that you can't know if someone is lying or serious. You say that you can't know if someone doesn't care or is sincere.
Open your ears and listen for once. And you'll hear their voices. Crying from the words, screaming from the screen. You can hear their voices. And sometimes that is more than seeing their faces every week at church. You might never know the faces that belong to those voices, but sometimes that's all you need. All you need to set you weeping and crying for those people is to hear their voices.


God Bless,
  A.W.

Color

Alright, I wrote this piece in October of last year...so I don't have much of an excuse of why it's written so badly.
Anyways, you can say whatever you want about it, and I won't get offended. Criticism is always motivating and helpful to me.
So here goes.

"Savee stepped forward, her small bear feet walking upon the air rather than the gray dirt. Her long dark gray hair fell to her mid-back. The same shade of gray was the gown she wore, swishing around her ankles at every step she took. The same shade was also the color of her eyes. And though gray seemed like a stoic color, one could not miss the dreadful despair in her eyes. Her soft features were melted into a hopeless expression.
With her long fingers she touched the tiara on her head, it was silver, but what was that anymore? Everything was gray, how could silver be much better?
With a sigh Savee walked through the garden. The dirt, the rocks, the bushes and plants, the flowers, the trees and even the chattering birds were all tainted gray. This is the world that she had created. This is everything that she had ever wanted. All of her dreams and fantasies had ended up in ruin. They had all cast her into a dark world. This is where it all led her. Why didn't it make her happy?
Savee smiled slightly seeing a brilliant flower stretched towards the sky, above its companions in a strong attempt to get sunlight. Its gray petals extended to every side, Savee lifted a hand, gently touching the petals. Suddenly the flower began to tremble, shaking like it had been hit by a storm; it crumbled, first the petals and then the entire stem. It all crumbled to a pile of dust scattered below Savee's feet.
She let out a deep sigh. One that she had been holding in for much too long. This always happens...She thought, whatever I touch dies, withers, crumbles. 
Looking up at the world around her she paused. Everything was gray. Dark gray. There was nothing there. Nothing that wouldn't disintegrate with her touch. There was nothing to make her happy anymore. It all escaped from her grasp.
"I have nothing," she finally whispered, suddenly understanding what she had done. "Every blessing that the Almighty has given me, I have destroyed with these...these," she paused looking down at her shaking hands, "these hands, these fingers."
She wanted the world the way she wanted it. And this was where her free will desires had lef her. She let them pull her into a glorious affair only to have them abandon her.
"I--I don't want it anymore, Almighty. Take it away. Please--please take it all away. i don't want anything to do with what I have created. Take me away from this--this hell, Almighty." she begged, her voice trembling.
Tears welled up in her now-green eyes. Guilt swept over her like a shadow, capturing her soul in a nightmare. Then a light flickered inside her, warming her ice cold soul. At the same moment rain began to fall, sprinkling down on her. Splattering against her face, the red instantly returned to her cheeks, splattering onto her hair making it oak brown.  Splattering against her skin painting it tan.
Color.
Savee opened her mouth, catching the rain drops. She laughed. Something she had not done in so long. Suddenly the rain began pelting down from the gray sky, making her dress turn to a forest green and cherry red. As it hit harder the plants sprouted up, turning green, the flowers blue, red, orange, and yellow. Brown to the trees and sunset pink to the blossoms.
Colors that she had never known. This was life.
Tilting her face upwards she laughed gleefully, raising her hands up to the heavens and spun. Her dress whirling in ecstasy as she cried and laughed. Tears ran down her cheeks, blending with the rain drops. No longer in bondage to her desires, no longer a slave.
She was free."


So there you have it. Critique it all you want.

God Bless,
  A.W.

Nothing too Interesting

This isn't really an interesting post but on Friday, I am going to post something I wrote a few months ago. Maybe that will be a bit more interesting for you. That is, if you enjoy criticizing bad writing it will.
Anyways, this has been a great month, writing wise. I finished typing out Iceblade (Part one of AD) onto my computer, and this week I have been working on the outline for the last book in my series. Lord willing, today I will finish writing out the outline. And then I think I will go edit Iceblade, and then type out the second part of AD, and then edit that. And then finally after all of that I am going to reread both parts and make sure that it all flows one last time before I put it away for good.
So I have been thinking a lot about my writing lately. And I realize that I need to figure out how to get to the place God wants me to be as a writer. I feel that God is calling me to be a writer, and I know what He wants me to write, but I can't write it until I finish my series.
I am hoping that by then I will be a good enough writer to actually sit down and write that book.
And now that my series is coming to a close, I realize that I am still not the writer I should be.
Everyone always says that I should take classes to become a better writer.
But I have taken classes, and they haven't helped me at all.

It was like whenever I enjoyed what I had to write, my teacher didn't like it and gave me a bad grade. But when I played by her rules I couldn't stand my papers. And I grew frustrated, because no one ever gave me any good advice on how to become a good writer.
But one day I was at dinner with my older brother who writes scripts and does filming. He told me that I should write what I want to write, and I should write how I want to write. Not what and how everyone else wants me to write.
So I took that advice and I finally embraced the freedom of writing.
But I am still left with the problem of writing.
I like writing like the "Epic Fantasy" way, that the authors do a lot of world building, and get into the characters' heads. I absolutely love that writing, but some people don't like it because it has a lot of run-ons.
But that's what makes it good! Because you are getting the characters so much in depth.
Some people just don't understand it.
And then there are authors of suspense novels, and they tend to have a lot of fragments in their writing. But that's what makes it good!
Some people just criticize those authors for that. Some people just don't understand.
And so when people tell me to play by the rules of grammar and spelling, I agree to an extant.
I agree to the extant that everything should be spelled correctly and that there should be good grammar in the book but when people get into the run-ons and fragments I would disagree at times, depending on the book and genre.

And here is another thing--I want to break into Christian Fantasy. I can't really take any good advice from that group, because the majority of people all write the same exact way. And most of their books are about the same exact things, with the same exact theme. I mean, if they their writing isn't bad, their theology is! You can't have two in one it seems for Christian Fantasy at least.
That's got to change.
I read book from that genre strictly for reference, of what not to do. And half of the secular fantasy books I read because they tell me what to do.
I can't seem to win either way.
So now I seem to be at a crossroads.

Two years ago, around this time I was reading a whole lot of books on writing, and copying pages and quotes from those books down, and my writing greatly increased. I still have those notes. And a few months back I would read through some of my favorite books and write down notes about the structure and craft of the story. That helped a lot too.
So here is one thing that I have considered doing--is reviewing all of those notes I have taken long ago and applying those things to my writing.
That would surely help.
And the second thing I could do--that I have heard so many authors already say is that I should read a lot.
I believe it was Stephen King who said, "If you don't have any time for reading, you don't have time for writing."
The writers who I respect most say that I should read a lot. That will help me with my writing, no doubt about it.
And then, most importantly, I need to write, write, write. I should be writing more. I don't write that much, at most, an hour a day. I won't get anywhere with just writing a few minutes each day. I have to keep going at it. That is how you get better. By writing.

So there are three things that I have considered. Now trying to think of more things to improve my writing.
But for now I will just put those.
Now, one last thing before I end for those who are a bit depressed that I didn't post anything meaningful today.
This is a video by one of my favorite preachers, Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones.
Great video where he talks about George Whitfield's life. He did live a truly incredible life. Just watch and you will know what I mean. Even if you don't know who on earth either of those men are. Maybe this video will inspire you to listen and read more of Lloyd-Jones' sermons and read more of Whitfield's sermons too.
Both men were greatly used by God.

God Bless,
  A.W.

John Piper on False Teachers

Stand

In my last post I told you about how far we have fallen, not only in our culture, but in the Christian community too. One thing I didn't go into much detail about was about the wolves we have let in.
I know too many people who have accepted false teachers saying, "Oh, they are nice. They wouldn't lead anyone astray. And if they do it isn't going to damn them to hell if they believe it, so it's okay."
People don't care anymore if anyone is lead astray. As long as the heretic is nice and sweet it's okay that he comes and preaches his heresy at our church.
Even the people who say they are in the same boat as I am, the people who say they hold to the same doctrines I do, will not stand.
No one wants to take a stand because it's too hard, or because they know that if they stand they will be persecuted. And others don't stand becuase they don't want to.
There are people being led astray every day, and the false teachers and heretics who are around us we let be. We don't really love people if we are inviting a heretic into our church.
People are being led astray and the people of God refuse to stand.

Some people assume that men like Phil Johnson and James White will find the heretics and deal with them. But just because God has greatly used those men to show us why certain people are wrong, doesn't mean that the other "ordinary" Christians can't defend their faith too.
If the day hasn't come already that someone will step up and challenge you about your beliefs, it is coming.
What did you say when that day came? Were you able to defend your views?  Did you stand? Or did you fall?
I do not believe that the Bible teaches that women should be in leadership, but I do believe that every man and woman should stand and defend the Word of God when need be.
Every Christian should be a theologian. And part of being a theologian is defending the truth.

Studying theology is hard work but God calls us to stand, and we can only stand if we know what we believe and why we believe it.
If you love God and if you love your brothers and sisters in Christ, and if you love the truth, you will stand, and defend the Word of God.
You don't really love your brethren if you will not stand to show them the truth. You do not really love God as much as you think you do, if you do not stand and defend His Word.
A lot of times we don't defend it because we don't want to be alone. We don't want to be on the "bad" side.
People will look down on you if you stand. People will be angry. People will hate you. People will persecute you for the things you say.
And sometimes on the other hand, people will thank you. And tell you that God used you to open their eyes. For most of the time, at least in my life it's the first group, of people not liking you after. But when someone does thank me, everything seems worth it.
Some of you know what I am talking about.
Other times no one says thank you. And that doesn't always mean that God didn't change anyone. God might have opened someone's eyes, you might just never know.
Either way, it's worth it to stand. And to stand is to obey.

As Christians we have become so afraid in not only the world, but also the Christian community. We've become soft, and don't love our brethren. We've put on a mask at times, and "stood" to defend the Word, but then when we aren't in a debate we accept those heretics just the way they are. For doing great works, or being greatly used by God.
We are loosing it in our community, that we have become so weak and so caught up with what everyone else is thinking.
How many of us will take a stand? How many of us can and will defend the Gospel when the time comes to rise? Who will stand? Who will stand?

God bless,
  A.W.

The Greatest Generation

The Greatest Generation is one of the best Non-fiction books that I have ever read. I have always loved stuff from the 1940s. I love the movies, the clothing, the hairdos, the lifestyle, the history--pretty much everything.
The book made my smile, laugh, and cry as I read it. The things they said made me cry at times, becuase I knew how true all of it was. One woman said that family time was important to everyone back then, but nowadays we don't have time for family.
Most families are broken and both parents work. No one has time for family anymore, the woman said.
And that was another thing--when a couple got married they would stay together, that's just how they were. They didn't just get divorced and move on to someone else like it's nothing. Some people did that, but they say that the great majority didn't.
So unlike today, there thousands of broken families in America.
Everything has changed so much over the last 60 or so years. Our society no longer has values and morals. And the things we accept now would shock someone who lived in the 40s. They would be shocked that we have accepted the most vile and disgusting lifestyles and thrown the things that matter most in the dump.
And that's just in our society as a whole.
But the church is a different story.
We can't expect anything from the world, but for it to get darker and darker.
But from the church we should expect more, don't you think?

The church is supposed to be the light in this dark world. But is it as it should be?
We always say we don't conform to the world. But take a step back and then tell me again that the people of God aren't conforming to this world.
Have you ever looked to see what we have accepted? Churches are beginning to accept the gays and lesbians like it's nothing. And not only are we refusing to take a stand against the world, but we will not even stand against the heretics and false teachers in our own group.
It's easier to stand against gay marriage, than it is to take a stand against a well respected false teacher in our own field.
Do you even realize how dangerous a false teacher is? Do you even understand what you are letting in your church?
There are thousands of people who are blinded by the devil and led astray by heretics, and we sit back and do nothing! Don't you see anything wrong with that?
God has given us His Word so not only will we know how to live, but so we will also know how to defend the truth. And when a false teacher comes we just follow right after him because he might be famous or well-respected in this world. We follow right after and even though we see his teaching blinding others we do nothing but follow and support him.
Am I the only one who sees something disgusting with that?

What would Calvin or Luther or Edwards say if they lived in our day and they saw what we had let in? What would they say?
Part of me says they would fall down and weep for the condition of the church today. They would weep and we just accept it all. We have forgotten how to cry.

God Bless,
   A.W.

Have we lost It?

Already I have accomplished two things on my resolutions for March. One is that I finally finished Holiness by J.C. Ryle and tomorrow I will be starting Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology. And the second is that I finished reading The Great Hunt.

And I believe that this week I will finish typing out Iceblade—part 1 of AD. Next I will work on the outline for the third story in my DD series. And then I will type out the second half of AD. So far my writing is on a steady track right for 2011.

Now to something more interesting.

I have a hundred ideas to write about on here, but right now it’s all muddled right now. I have been reading through The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw. There is so much to learn from that. I never understood why the people who fought in WWII were called The Greatest Generation. Now I know why, but I will save that for later.

One of the things that stuck out to me in those peoples’ lives was that they had morals. Morals, something that our generation is loosing.

Back in the day they wouldn’t even show a couple sleeping in a bed in movies. Back in the day they never showed junk in a movie how they do today. So much has changed. Have we even seen how open we have become?

Gays are accepted like it is normal behavior. Not only has our society accepted it but now even Christians themselves.

Now everyone can sleep with whoever and it’s okay, it’s the normal behavior for young people. No one cares about modesty or purity anymore. We don’t even blush anymore.

They might have been the greatest generation, and we must be the worst generation. The worst of the worst.

Our society has accepted those things which were once banned and disgraced. Do you even realize how much we’ve fallen?

I never really thought of it until today.

Are we loosing all sense of morality? Are we loosing it?

And suddenly I had the thought; have we already lost it?

God Bless,
  A.W.

Just Another Poem

Today I am just going to post a poem that I wrote at the beginning of this year. It's not my best, and it's not my worst. But it goes with what I last posted.
This poem is about a Christian's repentance. Like when Christians fall into sin for some time, and God breaks them down and brings them to Himself.
God is so gracious to us, and we don't deserve any of that grace at all. We were dead in our sins, and we loved sinning against a Holy God, but God chose to love us anyways. God is so gracious, even when He does let us experience the consequences of our own sin. It's always for our best. So here we go.

"My body ruined,
Bruised
Broken
Wrecked
And what do I choose?
Sin, sin, sin
Seven, eight, nine,
One more time.
What do I bring?
A guilty conscience, a body ruined.
Where am I now?
In shame I bow
What have I to bring?
But a bruised and broken body.

In my sins I was dead,
Until He washed me in red.
He died for me
Knowing that I would willingly destroy my body,
knowing that I would keep falling and failing.
He died.
What more motivation do I need?
If I beg and plead,
He will keep me.
From my addiction, I am set free."
 
God Bless,
   A.W.

Freedom

I believe in freedom. I believe that God can set any man or woman free from any addiction.
First off I should tell you that there are more addictions than you think. Most of you would right off that bat say, 'drugs, alcohol, etc.' Well, there are many more things than that. And it's not only non-Christians that struggle with these kinds of things. The difference from a non-Christian and a Christian facing an addiction is that God has opened the Christian's eyes to see how deep the hole really is that he has fallen into, and God gives that person the will to look up out of that hole and cry out to God. Because that Christian knows that he cannot climb out of that hole by himself, he knows that God is the only one who can help him.
And the non-Christian won't even realize how disgusting and sick his addiction is without God. And he will never have the strength and will to get out of that hole without God.
But today I am not talking about the non-Christians as they struggle with addiction.
I am talking about the Christians who are fighting tooth and claw against sin and are at the brink of falling again.

In my last post I talked about prayer, and that God always answers it, even if the wait is long. Today I am going to write about praying through addictions. Everyone always says that you can never be free of an addiction. And they always tell a story about someone who had struggled so hard, and then he thought it was over, and then a few years later he fell again. So often life seems to be that way, you fight so hard, and the temptation stops for a while, and then when you are least expecting it you fall again. Just like that. The devil won again.
I am not encouraging you to stop fighting. No, you must always be on your guard, no matter how small or great the temptation is. I don't believe in sinless perfection on earth, so I am not saying that you can reach that or anything. But I believe you will always be battling sin on this earth.
Stories like I posted above has by no doubt ruined peoples' hopes of freedom. And that story above is just an example of how a lot of peoples' lives are. They fight and pray so hard, and the addiction seems to fade, we put our guard down and then we fall. It's a frightening thought, but a true one.
Sometimes I think it's because we stop praying, and we forget what has tempted us so greatly in the past.

That really makes me feel hopeless, that I will always be falling back into that hole again and again. But then, a few months ago I'll Be Honest posted a video by Paul Washer on the promises of God, and God showed me that I can be set free from addiction. Not as in never sinning, and never struggling with that thing again. But rather that if I keep praying and fighting against my sin, in the end I will have victory over that addiction.
If you pray that God will take away your desires for that addiction He will.
He will keep you. Even when you cannot keep yourself, He will hold you up.
I am not saying that you will never fall again in your addiction if you pray that once, but if you keep praying for freedom and if you are striving towards God and away from that sin. God will set you free.
And even when you fall you must not give up. You must look to God the morning after. You must not let the devil speak lies to you. This Micah 7:8--9 is for the morning after.

"Do not rejoice over me, my enemy;
 When I fall I will arise;
Whe I sit in darkness,
The Lord will be a light to me.
I will bear the indignation of the LORD,
Because I have sinned against Him,
Until He pleads my case
And executes justice for me.
He will bring me forth to the light;
I will see His righteousness."

There is hope the morning after. There is hope.
You will always be fighting, but by God's grace He will keep you and in the end you will have victory over that addiction. It is never we who keep ourselves. But God who keeps us.

God Bless,
  A.W.

He Answers

Over the last year God has answered so many prayers. Big and small.
I was praying that God would keep someone from falling, and He has kept that person. And I prayed that God would bring encouragement to my friend, even if it was just one little conversation, and He did.  Just last night.
How awesome is it when you get to actually see God answering your prayers? It's pretty neat.

It all started last year when God really seemed to be answering prayers. I prayed for a long time that God would open my friend's eyes, because she had fallen into heresy. That heresy had ruined her and broke her down in her life. Once it had given her a false peace and joy. That heresy imprisoned her and destroyed her spiritual walk.
And at times when I was trying to show her the truth it all seemed hopeless. But finally she emailed me and told me that I was right, and that the heresy she had believed in was all a lie.
The next thing we were talking about was Calvinism vs Arminianism.
Now that one took a long time. And it seemed that God didn't even hear me because it would always seem like a constant battle from her traditions and the true Gospel. But one day she emailed me and said that she was a five-pointer!
I cried when I read that email. I cried because God is so good. Because He is so sovereign. Because He answered my prayers. He answered the prayer of each tear I cried for my friend.
And He didn't answer my prayers on my time. He answered them on His time, when the moment was right.
If He had answered them all on my time I never would have learned to be patient in prayer, or to trust in God that He is in full control.
A lot of times I would pray and God wouldn't answer. I would take that as a 'no'. But it wasn't like that, when my prayers for my dear sister in Christ weren't answered, He was saying, 'Not yet, trust in Me for this."
And that is what I had to do. Let go and trust in Him.
Sometimes the answer is 'no' and sometimes it is simply, 'not yet.'
It blows me away when I look back and see how God had a plan through it all, and see how He answered my prayers. Looking back makes me cry and tremble becuase even when I was at the brink of giving up He kept me up, and He gave me hope. Looking back I see God's plan through it all, and it gives me peace for the future. God is sovereign. God is in control.
Over the last year God has answered so many prayers, and sometimes when it has been a long wait I get blown away by that. Because sometimes it feels like He isn't there, that He isn't answering. But then He does. In His time.
And though the wait may be long, I will always have an answer to my prayers. It may be a 'yes', a 'no', or a 'not yet'.
Look back to see what He has already done and trust in Him for the future. He is in control. He is Sovereign.

God Bless,
  A.W.